National Business Employment Weekly, January 24, 1992

Parts Pups, 1985

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 145

       "Under the new health and safety guidelines, all employees must wear

                   hair nets during work hours. Are there any questions?"

                                           (by Jack Brumagin)


My original caption: "All right, it looks like the no-hair's . . . er, I mean, the no's have it."


Wow, two consecutive wins by Jack Brumagin! Congrats, Jack, once again you have proved to be one of the funniest people around. Sorry, you haven't broken any records yet (the record is four consecutive wins), but you're on the way to getting your name immortalized in the statistics book.

It looks like most of you targeted in on the baldies (potties got a few good mentions in the captions, also). Here are the other submissions that I was seriously considering this time:

"Anyone else in favor of the Rogaine merger?" (by Brendan Gannon)

"What part of, 'everyone must try out the new hair removal laser,' did you three not understand?" (by Alex Hiott)

"Does anyone know why it's so bright in here?" (by Griffen Riccio)

"All in favor of adding toupees as an accepted item in the dress code?" (by Ava Groth)

"Would anyone like to share their thoughts on our recent decision to test hair products on humans instead of animals?" (also by Jack Brumagin)


Thanks for participating, captioneers. Be on the lookout for the next contest -- it'll be up before you know it.


Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 145

Contest No. 145 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the "Captcha" box. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, April 2, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

Dartnell, November 23, 1987

NASSP News Leader, 1988

Dartnell, 1991

Graphic Arts Monthly, 1984

Dartnell, 1993

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 144

                "Do you need me to explain Casual Fridays to you again?"

                                           (by Jack Brumagin)


My original caption: "Do you have a resume?"


Congratulations, Jack Brumagin, on your big first win. You beat out a big field of caption submissions, and you can now bask in the glory of officially being one of the funniest people around!

As I said, there were lots of funny entries this time, and it was difficult to single out just one. Here are the other captions I was considering -- three or four of them just narrowly missed out:

"Your credentials are impressive. Can you start immediately on the knight shift?" (by Eric Bjorklund)

"No, we do not discriminate against transroyal persons in our hiring process." (by David Grand)

"I'm sorry, sir, but the current king already has an heir." (by Gayden Wren)

"This isn't what corporate had in mind for dress down Fridays." (by Rich Wolf)

"It's come to my attention that you don't work well with others!" (by Tim Collins)

"I'm afraid there was a typo in the job posting. It should have read 'Loyalty is important to us'." (by David Hoddinott)

"Sorry, but I don't think you are the right fit here at Dairy Queen." (by Ronn Roxx)

"For qualifications . . . I see waving and giving orders. Sorry, but that job is already filled . . . by my wife!" (by Kay Ralph)

"It is a little overdone for Casual Fridays, Smithers." (also by David Hoddinott)

"I'm sorry, sir, but your son is not guaranteed the position once you retire." (also by Jack Brumagin)

That's it for this time. A new contest will be posted before you know it, so be on the lookout for it and keep those captioneering pencils sharpened.





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