Insurance Sales, May, 1986

NASSP News Leader, February, 1989

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 143

"Thank you, ma'am, now would you kindly inform the gentleman I am ready for                                              my interview???" 

                                           (by Dom Mancino)

                      "The man doing the interview is not here yet?"

                                         (by David Hoddinott)


My original caption: "Hi, sugarlips. What's the corporate policy on office romances?"


Yes, it's another tie!  Congrats to Dom Mancino on your eighth victory, and to David Hoddinott on a very big first victory. As of this moment, you are definitely two of the funniest people around!

Lots of interesting submissions this time. Here are the ones that were getting serious consideration:

"My skills? Ask me on a Saturday night!" (by John Platt)

"Good morning, Miss Personnel. I used to have my name on my desk too. " (by Eric)

"Hey babe, how do you want your eggs in the morning?" (by Rich Wolf)

"I don't work well with others, especially women your age." (also by Rich Wolf)

"I'd like one of your overseas positions. I'm wanted in 9 states here." (by Cary Antebi)

"Mind if I ask you a personal, personnel question, babe!" (by Tim Collins)

"Before we start, which position am I applying for again?" (by Ava Groth)

"Before we begin . . . have you ever heard of 'Undercover Boss'?" (also by David Hoddinott)

Good work, captioneers -- be on the lookout for the next contest in just a few short weeks.



Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 143

Contest No. 143 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, February 5, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

Selling Power, 1991

The Chronicle of Higher Education, 1993

The National Enquirer, August 14, 1990

Nutrition Health Review, 1998

Dartnell, 1986

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 142

   "So, your main responsibility will be to hack into my competitors' accounts."

                                          (by Mel Tanenbaum)

    "Your main role will be to get me up to speed. After you teach me how to                                    snapchat, I'll need a lesson on memes."

                                                (by Sharon)


My original caption: "But if I ever need someone to sell lemonade, I'll certainly give you a call."


Yes, it's another tie! Congrats, Mel Tanenbaum and Sharon, on your victories. This is Mel's third win and Sharon's sixth, so there's no doubt about who are two of the funniest people around.

There were loads of good captions submitted this time, and here are the others that were under serious consideration:

"Yes, we do hand out lollipops to employees who get through the whole day without crying." (by David Grand)

"I am sure you can bounce the ball extremely high . . . but that's not the kind of Bouncer we're looking for." (by Kay Ralph)

"No, we can't continue this on text." (by Rich Wolf)

"Yes, I make enough money to buy my own lunch, and sometimes with ice cream, too." (by Bruce Morgenstern)

"So, whose performance review are we doing today?" (by Beth Ginsberg)

"I'm sorry Tim, but we at the Daily Bugle no longer need people in distribution. Stay in school and learn all about live streaming, whatever that is." (by Brendan Gannon)

"You would be perfect for this job, but you do not meet the height requirement." (by Diane)

"Yes son, this is where dad moves and shakes." (by Kelasher)

"We'll finish up after your nap." (also by Rich Wolf)

"Your timing is perfect. We just opened up a junior executive position." (by Cary Antebi)

"No, I'm afraid picking up your own toys doesn't count as work experience." (by David Hoddinott)

And a special topical/political caption nod of appreciation to Gary for : "I appreciate your creativity in trying to stop the government shutdown . . . but I don't know if a wall made out of Legos will do the trick."

A new Contest will be up shortly, captioneers -- look for it .  . . and thanks for participating.


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