Cartoon Caption Contests

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 130


              "Prince Michael, I always wanted something better for you."

                                          (by Brendan Gannon)

 

My original caption: "I've had it with juggling and pratfalls. Don't you know any ethnic jokes?"

 

Nice going, Brendan Gannon -- this is your first victory, so you get a huge congratulations! You are now officially one of the funniest people around.

There weren't too many captions submitted for this contest, so I guess this drawing ranks up there as a "difficult" one. Yes, it's not easy for me to figure out which of my old drawings will attract a lot of captions, and which will flop.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering:

"It's come to my attention that you have been juggling your time between me and that Santa guy." (by Ronn Roxx)

"Your motivation is I'm your father and I told you to." (by Rich Wolf)

"I said I wanted chainsaws." (by Jason Tolbert)

"Let's see what you've got, the balls are in your court." (by Joshua Cadwallader)

And my appreciation goes out to Max West, for his caption "Remember -- the pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true." It got a big laugh from me, because I had never connected Danny Kaye and his film "The Court Jester" with this cartoon, and the quote was so appropriate. Funny as it was to me, I didn't feel that the caption made for a commercially-acceptable cartoon, so it just gets this special "honorable mention". Maybe if you had included the additional routine about "the chalice from the palace", Max . . . (just kidding, it still wouldn't have won, but it probably would have gotten an even bigger laugh from me).

Thanks for the submissions, captioneers. A new contest will start a couple of weeks from now -- and I'll try to make it easier.

 






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 130


Contest No. 130 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, February 13, 2018.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 129


                            "If you say yes, all this could be yours."

                                                (by Diane)

 

My original caption: "Darling, please say you'll marry me, before my knee freezes over."

 

Congratulations, Diane, on your third win! Once again you can bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.

These are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

"Marry me . . . we can honeymoon in New York where the weather is a balmy 10 degrees!!!" (by Dom Mancino)

"No, it's not that we can't afford a water bed . . . " (by Rich Wolf)

"You want a prenup for what exactly?" (also by Rich Wolf)

"Will you be my wifcicle?" (by Carole)

"I want to grow cold with you." (by Cary Antebi)

And a speical note of appreciation to Marc Eliot Stein for his caption which was lifted verbatim from the lyrics of the classic song "Cold, Cold Heart", by Hank Williams: " Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold, cold heart?"

And one more note: As I say in my contest rules, I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. If you want to send more than 15, I'll be glad to see them (and hopefully get a chuckle out of them), but they won't be acknowledged or judged for the contest. So If you have a load of captions, please make sure the funniest ones are in your first 15 submissions. Thanks.

A new contest will be coming up in just a few short weeks, so keep a sharp lookout for it.






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 129


Contest No. 129 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, January 23, 2018.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

 






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 128


                        "I'm afraid it's going to take a month or two

                           to download and install all the updates!"                                                       

                                           (by Dom Mancino)

 

My original caption: "Well, I can't fix it here -- guess I'll have to take it back to the shop."

 

Congratulations once again, Dom Mancino!  This is your seventh win, and it took a long time coming -- your last win was a first place tie 'way back in Contest No. 59! This was a great caption, and it confirms your status as one of the funniest people around.

Speaking of great captions, you captioneers submitted quite a few this time around. I was almost resigned to declaring it another two-way or three-way tie, but finally decided to give the nod to Dom's caption. Here are the others that I was seriously considering:

"Alexa, how do I fix this thing?" (by Sharon)

"Well, here's your problem. It should be '00110110110111010', not '00110110100111010'." (by John Platt)

"I'd better check with my grandfather on this one." (also by John Platt)

"All I know is, red to red, white to white, and black to black." (by TIM COLLINS)

"Yeah, these things tend to break down on the day their 50 year warranty expires." (by Cary Antebi)

"The good news is, this computer is so old, it actually came with a manual." (also by Cary Antebi)

"It doesn't pay fixing it. They've got used ones on ebay for $5.99." (also by Cary Antebi)

"Good thing you took out the super extended warranty!" (by Mel Tanenbaum)

"Can you believe it? This monster computer contains ten trillion bits and it's now worth less than one bitcoin!" (by Gary)

And, finally, there were these two captions which pretty well paraphrased my original caption, from so many years ago:

"I'm gonna have to take it back to the shop!" (also by TIM COLLINS)

"The good news is, I can fix it. The bad news is, I have to bring it back to the shop." (also by Cary Antebi)

Great work, captioneers! Thanks for participating. Look for the next contest in a couple of weeks.






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 128


Contest No. 128 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest.  This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, January 2, 2018.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions, and it's a really old one. Just look at the size of that "computer" I dreamed up. This guy definitely needs a laptop! Okay, captioneers, let's see what you can do with this relic from the past. Happy New Year!






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 127


     "You know Bill, it is quite unusual for a young associate to be named new                                    product tester and a true honor indeed."

                                             (by Steven Wilson)

 

My original caption: "And now I'd like to show you the flip side of our generous benefits package."

 

Congratulations, Steven Wilson, on your very first winning caption! You now join that very exclusive club -- you can bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around!

I thought there were lots of very good captions submitted this time, and here are the ones that came "that close":

"Now I'll show you my exit strategy!" (by Harvey Appelbaum)

"Come see the new employee motivation technique I developed . . . ." (by John Platt)

"I thought it was time we sharpened your marketing skills!" (by Brendan Gannon)

"And we're proud to say the company has never missed a deadline." (by Rich Wolf)

"We've made a slight change to our rec room." (by Cary Antebi)

"And here's how we enforce our new zero tolerance policy on sexual harassment. " (by Gary)

One final note: My criterion for picking a winner has always been to put myself in the position of a Cartoon Editor of a magazine and choose the caption that I not only thought was the funniest, but also one that I would not hesitate to print in my publication. The reason I mention this is that for this contest Tim Collins submitted a caption that actually brought a big smile to my face (after I thought about it for a minute), but I really didn't think it was commercially publishable. That caption was: "After we're done here, I'll take you bowling in the basement." HA!

Nice work, captioneers. the next contest should be up in a couple of weeks, so keep a sharp eye open for it.






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 127


Contest No. 127 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest.  This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 12, 2017.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.






Computer problem


 

It looks like computer problems will delay the start of the next Cartoon Caption Contest for a while.

In the meantime, I'll try to continue to keep posting my published cartoons every few days, as I've been doing all along, to keep my archive going. 

I don't know how long it will take to resolve the problems -- hopefully it will just be a matter of days -- so please keep checking in. The Contest will be back as soon as possible. 






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 126


            "Life line . . . good. Heart line . . . great. Landline . . . crummy!

                                    Time to get a cell phone."

                                          (by Cary Antebi)

 

My original caption: "A complete reading is fifty dollars, but there's a five dollar mail-in rebate."

 

Well, now it's twenty-nine wins for Cary Antebi!! I guess I don't have to re-assure you, Cary, that you are one of the funniest people around. And thanks for setting such a high standard for all the other captioneers to aspire to.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

"I must be having a 'senior-gypsy' moment, I'm not getting a thing!" (by Tim Collins)

"I see death and some taxes in your future." (by Rich Wolf)

"That's $45 for the thumb and $5 for each additional digit." (also by Cary Antebi)

"If you don't hand me some more money, I'm afraid your future may get out of hand." (by Gary)

That's it for another couple of weeks, captioneers. Be on the lookout for Contest #127, and thanks to everybody who participated.

 






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