“Now, Margaret . . . when you said there was going to be a baby ‘Shower’ here today, exactly what did you mean?”
(by Kay Ralph)
My original caption: “Martha! You’ve thrown out the baby with the bath water again!”
Five of the captions submitted involved the “you’ve thrown out the baby with the bath water” theme (mimicking my old original caption — you Captioneers know me too well!) and three involved an Amazon delivery. All good, dependable captions. But this time I decided to pick a winner from outside the obvious box. So congratulations, Kay Ralph, on this, your seventh victory! It was a long time coming, since your last win was way back in Contest No. 161. But the bragging rights are all yours now — once again you are one of the funniest people around.
Here are all the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:
“I have heard of it “Raining Cats and Dogs” . . . but, this is ridiculous!” (also by Kay Ralph)
“You threw the baby out with the bathwater again.” (by Kelly)
“Honey, our package from Amazon has arrived.” (by Diane Weisman)
“Did you order from Amazon?” (by Michael Lomazow)
“Didn’t we tell Amazon to knock when they deliver a package?!” (by Rich Wolf)
“Cheryl, it’s for you!” (also by Rich Wolf)
“I told you, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!” (by Jonathan Stein)
“All these years I though ‘throwing the baby out with the bath water’ was just an old wives tale.” (by Lee Lacewell)
“Honey, you really have to get more sleep . . . you threw the baby out with the bath water again!” (also by Kay Ralph)
“We’re under a conserve water order! You’ve gotta stop throwing the bathwater out with the baby!” ( also by Lee Lacewell)
“See, honey . . . I told you naming the baby Fido would confuse him!” (by Abigail)
“If this wasn’t a cartoon already, I would draw a bath for him.” (by Pat Foley)
The next Contest, No. 202, will be posted here before you can say “You’ve thrown out the baby with the bath water” one hundred times without flubbing it. Thanks for participating, Captioneers!
Contest No. 201 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, July 5, 2023.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. This is another very old drawing of mine, going back many decades (one way you can tell is that I signed it “Eli Stein”, rather than just “Stein”).
Good luck, Captioneers!
Caption: “At college, I majored in telemarketing and minored in teleconferencing.”
“Mr. Nagle, your psychiatrist says it’s time for you to go in.”
(by Michael Lomazow)
My original caption: “Mr. Nagle is still busy, but his flunky can see you now.”
Congratulations, Michael Lomazow, on this, your fourth victory. Your caption caused a delayed reaction laugh — it took me a few moments to understand, but I really appreciated it once I realized where your gag was coming from. Well done! Once again, you can bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.
Here are the other captions that I was considering for top honors:
“He’ll talk to you now. Here’s the phone.” (by Pat Foley)
“Be patient. He’s having a bad ‘here’ day,” (also by Pat Foley)
“Ehay ookslay ikelay a otaltay oserlay!” (by Marc Eliot Stein)
“Sorry to bother you sir, but your patient’s patience is wearing thin waiting for your meeting.” (by Diane Weisman)
“Sorry, Rich is on an important call about niblicks vs. mashies.” (by Kelly)
“Your 9 o’clock firing is here.” (by Rich Wolf)
“He wants to know if you brought smoke and mirrors, or a dog and pony.” (by Mark S.)
“He loves a good joke. Call him Mr. Bagel and watch his reaction.” (also by Michael Lomazow)
The next contest will appear here before you know it, Captioneers. Please watch for it, and thanks for participating!
Contest No. 200 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, June 7, 2023.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
It’s hard to believe. Sam Gross, a giant in the magazine gag-cartooning world, passed away last week, at the age of 89.
Sam Gross never retired. He showed up regularly on Tuesday mornings at the offices of The New Yorker to offer his latest cartoon creations, and to schmooze away with other cartoonists while awaiting his turn to see the Cartoon Editor. And afterwards he would hang around and continue schmoozing at an improvised lunch that he and a few other cartoonists arranged at some nearby restaurant.
I’m sure I must have crossed paths with Sam Gross many years ago, in the glory days of gag cartooning, on “Look Day” Wednesday. That was the day that local cartoonists invaded Manhattan to make the rounds of the Cartoon Editors of all the magazines, newspapers and syndicates that were actively purchasing gag cartoons. On a good day a cartoonist could show batches of rough cartoons to about a dozen editors, in the hope of getting some “holds” or selling a few outright. These days, the only Cartoon Editor that sees cartoonists in person is Emma Allen of the New Yorker (and the day had long ago been changed to Tuesday, instead of Wednesday).
So, as I said, Sam Gross and I must have crossed paths, but I don’t remember ever talking to him until some time in 2004, in The New Yorker waiting room. We struck up a conversation and he mentioned that he was working on yet another cartoon anthology project, a book or a daily calendar, on the subject of Law (something like his “Cats! Cats! Cats!” and “Dogs! Dogs! Dogs!” books, I imagined). He asked me if I had any good Law cartoons published that he could consider using — he was interested only in reprints, not originals. I told him that this was his lucky day, that Law was my “spec-i-al-i-tee” and that I had loads of cartoons published in The National Law Journal and similar legal publications that I’d be pleased to offer for the project. Long story short, I sent copies of my reprints to him, he selected one that had appeared in the NLJ, I signed the necessary releases, and in no time at all I received a hefty royalty check from his publisher.
That’s the kind of mensch Sam Gross was.
The above snapshot was taken in 2007, when we met at a cartoon art exhibit. That’s him on the right, with the beard, and me on the left. It looks to me like we had the same predilection for black turtle-neck shirts.
Rest in peace, Sam Gross.
If you would like to reprint any cartoon found on this site, please contact me at elilast@verizon.net. Reproduction or publication for commercial purposes of any of the cartoons on this site without prior permission is strictly prohibited.
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