Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 207

“We’re in agreement then, Santa: You handle the ho-ho-ho, we’ll handle the dough-dough-dough.”

(by Anya)

 

My original caption: “Santa! How are you? How’s the wife? The elves? The reindeer?”

 

A great big congratulations, Anya, on this, your first victory. You have now joined the ranks of “one of the funniest people around”, and can enjoy all the bragging rights that go with the title.

Here are the other captions that were in serious contention:

“I’m personally thanking every Santa! This year’s rally made me a millionaire.” (by Brendan F Gannon)

“You got me exactly what I needed when I was young, so I’m going to provide you with the exact insurance coverage you need.” (by Scott Malcolm)

“”I’ll just need to verify the elves’ employment paperwork and I’ll be out of your beard!” (by Sagie)

“Aren’t you a little late for Halloween?” (by Diane Weisman)

“Don’t forget to report your earnings to the IRS.” (by Pat Foley)

“If I donate this briefcase, loaded with cash, will you stop ringing that irritating bell for the rest of the evening?” (by Lee Lacewell)

“Hello! My name is Timmy Montoyo. You killed my grandmother (with your Reindeer). Prepare to die.” (also by Scott Malcolm)  This caption was never actually in contention, Scott Malcolm, but I’m a big fan of “The Princess Bride”, and it brought a smile to my face. Thanks.

 

Contest No. 208 will be posted here in due time, Captioneers, so be on the lookout for it, and thanks for participating!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 207

Contest No. 207 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, December 20, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 206

“I guess ‘B’ wasn’t the answer to every question.”

(by Rich Wolf)

 

My original caption: “Personally, I thought that my quiz answers were well within the community standards.”

 

Congrats, Rich Wolf, on this, your latest victory. It’s your seventeenth win in a string that goes back more than six years, to your first win in Contest No. 124 in 2017. Can there be any doubt that you are truly one of the funniest people around?

Here are the other captions that were being considered seriously for top honors:

“I don’t know why the teacher failed me. I answered each question with ‘I cannot answer because it may incriminate me’.” (by Diane)

“I’ll never be accused of being a nerd.” (by Pat Foley)

“I didn’t know you could get fired from grade school.” (by Mark S.)

“Why learn the ABC’s? We already know MTV, FOX, PBS, NBC, CBS and CTN. ” (by Lee Lacewell)

“Ms. Landers is giving us this article on ‘The Benefits of Home Schooling’ to take home to our parents.” (also by Lee Lacewell)

“Do you think if I turned it upside-down, my parents would believe I got a 96?” (by Jonathan Stein).  [Sorry, Jonathan, but 69 turned upside-down is still 69. Nice try, though. Did anybody else catch this?]

“She gave me an ‘F’ on the note I passed in class.” (by Scott Malcolm)

“She accused me of cheating. We’re not even married.” (also by Scott Malcolm)

“Innit okay to use ain’t?” (by Kelly)  [It’s okay by me, Kelly . . . innit okay by you?]

Fear not, Captioneers, Contest No. 207 will be posted in due time. Keep a sharp lookout for it, and thanks for continuing to give it the old college try!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 206

Contest No. 206 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, November 22, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 205

“I guess we’re both sleeping in the dog house tonight.”

(by Jonathan Stein)

 

My original caption: “Don’t tell me — let me guess — your mother’s here.”

 

Congratulations, Jonathan Stein, on this, your fourth victory. And it’s been a long time coming — your last win was ages ago, in Contest No. 150. You’re definitely one of the funniest people around and you’ve earned the right to declare it from the rooftops (even if it’s only from doghouse rooftops).

Here are the other captions that were under serious consideration for top honors:

“I’m taking the mutt for a walk in ten minutes. You’ll probably need your coat.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“I’m leaving you so he can have the doghouse all to himself.” (by Ken Wilkinson)

“Looks like we both have to go.” (by Rich Wolf)

“I know you like sniffing around, but now you have our dog doing it.” (by Diane)

“His name is Liberace. The pet shop owner said ‘of all the dogs they’ve sold over the last ten years he’s the pee-n-ist’.” ( by Lee Lacewell)

“Just remember, Buddy, you’re my best friend. She’s just my wife.” (by Scott Malcolm)

 

Contest No. 206 will be coming up before you know it, Captioneers, so be on the lookout for it. Keep those funny captions coming, and thanks for participating!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Foreword

Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).
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