The Suffolk Lawyer, 1998

Report to Legal Management, 1985

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 135

         1) "Hi Mom! Do you know how you said I'd be canonized one day?"

                          2) "I was hired and fired in the same day!"

                                        (both by Richard Wolf)


My original caption: "Great news, dear! I've been fired!"


Wow, this guy Richard Wolf is smokin' hot! This is his third straight win, with not one, but two great captions, and it's his fourth win overall! Congrats, Richard -- you doubly earned the title this time -- you're definitely one of the funniest people around.

I hesitated using this drawing for my Caption Contest for a long, long time. I figured that my original caption was so obvious that everybody would just dash it off and send it in, and that would make for a very boring contest. Well, you captioneers certainly proved me wrong. Sure, a few of you came up with variations on my caption . . .  and Richard Wolf even took it a step further in one of his winning captions . . . but all in all, the submitted captions showed some interesting initiatives.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

"You were right, Mom, I should have become an accountant." (by Cary Antebi)

"I don't think Vaping is any safer!" (by Kay Ralph)

"You're my agent, Harry. what do you suggest for an encore?" (also by Kay Ralph)

"No, I said 'HIGHER', not 'FIRE'!" (by Tim Collins)

"Well, Marcia, contrary to how you feel, I've just proven I'm not a dud." (also by Cary Antebi)

"Yes, dear, I have one more act in about five minutes, so I should be home in about six minutes." (by mel tananbaum)

Nice work, folks -- be on the lookout for the next contest, coming up soon.


Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 135

Contest No. 135 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, June 26, 2018.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. 

Dartnell, 1998

Explanation: This cartoon was printed in 1998, when just logging onto the internet was a major hassle.

Florida Bar News, 2004

Dartnell, 1991

American Tool, 2000

The Suffolk Lawyer, 1998

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 134

      "I've been told by management it's bow tie OR suspenders, never both."

                                                (by Rich Wolf)


My original caption: "Yes, Hopkinson, you're still my heir apparent." 


Yes, this makes two consecutive victories for Rich Wolf (and three victories in all). Congratulations, Rich -- you have proved once again that you are indeed one of the funniest people around!

I still think that my original caption was a pretty good gag, and could never figure out why my cartoon never sold.

Here are the other submitted captions that were in the running:

"Anderson, I think it's time to admit that our attempt to become a paperless office has failed." (by John Platt)

"It says right here in the company rules and regs, 'no suspenders'." (by Mel Tanenbaum)

"Excellent sales record, Mr. Martin, but I don't think that you're quite the right fit here, at 'Belt Boutique'!" (by Kay Ralph)

"Welcome to your first post-retirement job you never thought you'd need to have." (by Jonathan Stein)

"You're just the man we were looking for fifty years ago." (by Cary Antebi)

"Congratulations, Lance, Best-Buy management thinks you're just the man to head up the 'Geek Squad'!" (by Tim Collins)

There were lots of good submissions here, captioneers. Be on the lookout for Contest No. 135, coming up soon.




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