Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 167

Contest No. 167 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the "Captcha" box. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, November 17, 2020.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


"So then my friend says, you know the Trump White House is looking to hire some good people ..."

"I never dreamed they would charge the entire firm!"

"No . . . we politicians are pegged as the trouble-makers . . .
no buzz cuts for us . . . they can spot us in a second!"

I didn't realize exercising my vote meant I would be exercising here for 10 to 20.

Hey new guy! Did you vote for the 'wrong' guy too?

"What's worse is, I feel guilty."

"Yesterday, I'm teaching my grade three class, when . . .
out of nowhere, a disillusioning sense of power overtook me,
and I actually had the audacity to discipline a child!"

"Couldn't make a go of it on the outside, with the Covid and
all . . . had to close down shop. In here, I have all the buzz
cuts I can handle!"

We have to stop hanging around like this.

We have to stop meeting like this.

"Isn't wearing these hats punishment enough?"

"I'm not quite sure why Mr. Stein didn't give me thumbs."

"I'll give them credit for being in style . . . these untucked shirts are cool."

It's Jello night tonight, so we're moving the break out to tomorrow night. Pass it on!

What did you do for Trump?

We're gonna play Cops & Robbers later, but we can't find anyone to play the Cops.

I wish the guy up there would stop trying to play that violin!

This is the only way I could get some space from my family during this Covid crisis!

Wow! Who would have thought that in 2021 I'd be living with the president.

We're doing an off-Broadway version of The Great Escape.

"I`ve been wearing this invisible straightjacket for years. The wardens can`t find the release straps."

Social distancing???? We’re in here, they’re out there...whaaaatt!!!!

"How did we bypass the buzz-cut, you ask . . . Well . . .
we're pretty sure, the two guards that frisked us
like it this way!"

We need a little excitement out here, so tomorrow we will meet at the other side of the court.

"Give it to me straight, Lefty . . . Do we make the cut . . .
We have to be believable, for the 'Warden' edition
of "undercover Boss!"

"Every breath we take, every move we make, every step we take, they'll be watching us."

"Is there a way out of here? Yep, just climb that wall and ask the guy in the tower."

"Any chance of de-funding these guards?"

"I could never afford a security system like this on the outside."

If this outbreak gets any worse, I'm going to kill somebody so I'll be in solitary.

"These curls . . . spell . . . Alpha Male!"

“Lunch today had a certain je n’est ce quoi.”

"So what's the nightlife like around here?

"Do leap-year's, and day-light savings time count as good-time or bad-time?"

"I think I just saw my lawyer in Cellblock A!"

"You guys wanna ' order-out' tonight?"

"I'd really like to help you move to Cellblock A tomorrow but I've got an early T-time!"

"The problem with Inmate court here is the jury is made up of your peers!"

"It's a little ironic, I always wore a mask when I went to work!"

"Louie, how many packs of cigarettes for some primo hand-

"Is it just me, or does this place seem like a bad prison movie!"

"If I had gone straight I wouldn't be going to the dance with you Saturday night!"

"I'm having a few people over tonight, you guys are welcome to come!"

"I'm really starting to get into these casual Fridays!"

"Talk about bad luck, my Doctor, and the Judge both gave me one to six years!"

"I've been to better bed and breakfast joints."

"I went to college. It was a big mistake."

" I took an extra roll of toilet paper. "

"When I get out, I'm going on Jeopardy."

" I'm Michael Jones, the art forger. You know that Mona Lisa is an original Jones. "


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