Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 166

Contest No. 166 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the "Captcha" box. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, October 20, 2020.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


"...and when she said get that bum out of my courtroom, I thought your strategy was brilliant!"

"I know what you mean. I'm a hard case myself."

"Did I do it? Yes. Can I pay you? No."

"Does the phrase 'pro bono' do anything for you?"

Are you working virtually, too?

"No Dad . . . I'm still not ready to join your Law Firm!"

"Before we begin . . . may I see some credentials, please?"

You know barristers in England still wear wigs?

Objection, your honor.

Let's settle this out of court.

"I'm not a charlatan or fraud. My ad stated . . . Diving lessons
by experienced Diver, and I am a 'diver'... A 'Dumpster Diver'!"

"Don`t sit on my bed, I`ve just made it."

"I used to be a lawyer but then I acquired some self worth."

" Do you have some change for a fellow advocate? "

Do you do pro bono cases?

Excuse me sir, but you are sitting on my bed.

"Can you tell the judge that I prefer to be called 'the subject of our inquiry' rather than defendant? "

"I pay more taxes than you."

"Who told you, you could approach the bench?"

"This is a bench trial and being the judge, I say you're guilty."

"I could make a good argument that I'm not the one who is the bum here."

"I don't expect you to represent me 'Pro Bono!'.
Don't you recognize me . . . I'm Hobie . . . from
'Hobie and the Hobos'?"

"Pierre and Margaret's son? . . . I used to be Prime
Minister of Canada!"

"If you need to reach me, leave a tie on this bench."

"I thought it was a good sign when the jury said they didn't need to put in a lunch order."

"It wasn't petty theft. I heard cleanup in aisle three."

I'm just re-imagining myself as an Esquire.

I find the days too short to take up anything serious.

"I got into Harvard Law but I also got into San Quentin."

"You know, I'm free for Thanksgiving."

"If you would represent me, you can have the book and movie proceeds."

"No, I'm not ashamed. I'm a Republican."

"Wife #2, you say . . . alimony? Well, I don't have much . . .
but she's welcome to half of my cardboard box, and half
of my 'sardine can' collection."

"I have your tip. Dodgers in six."

For 100 bucks I'll tell you whether or not I'm covid positive.

"Excuse me, Mr. attorney... Me, and Bertha the bag lady
are getting hitched. Would you consider doing a pre-nup
pro bono?"

"Now that you've won the case I can tell you...I'm guilty!"

"Now I'll give you my closing statement...I haven't got a penny to pay you!"

"I was hoping you'd lose the case...I haven't had three square meals a day in years."

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