Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 165

Contest No. 165 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the "Captcha" box. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, September 22, 2020.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.



"My husband is not displaying hostile body language, Ms. Brook...
He's been frozen in that position, ever since our stay at the 'Igloo Suite' from your 'Alaskan Get Away package'!"

"Basically, we sell you an attractive print of one of these two lovely posters, and you glue it to the window of the small apartment where you've spent the past six months."

"We'll go anywhere that will take us."

"...well, I want excitement and meeting people and Harry likes seclusion but the 'Visit the Head-hunters of the Amazon' tour is not for us!"

"How much will YOU pay US to stay at home?"

“Can we visit 2019?”

"Would you consider giving my husband a 'partial refund'...
for the distance he had to swim back to shore?"

"We'd like to go somewhere more relaxing, like the tip of an active volcano."

"Bob wants a France vacation on a Jersey budget."

Do you have any vacations that don't require leaving our house?

"We paid for a cruise to nowhere and we don't want a cruise to somewhere."

"You do realize that with the internet, your job is basically obsolete."

Please ignore my husband, he loves going on vacation, but he does not like spending money. Do you have any cruises for free?

We'd like to explore our own back yard.

How much for something that doesn't involve flying or fun?

We heard we can get a really good deal on a Carnival cruise.

I'd like to see Cancun, but he doesn't think it's the right time!?

Is it true that they are cancelling the buffets on our Jumbo Cruise around the world just to be safe?

Really? You're all booked up for the December 16th, 2028th flight.

He's just mad because we have to cancel our cruise and visit my mother instead this Christmas.

Oh no, don't bother with the cruise cancellation insurance he said. What could possibly go wrong?

"In my husband's defense . . . the 'Non Refundable' clause
on your travel brochure was placed below a 'Beer Ad!'"

"We know the risks but his mother really needs a vacation."

"Why would we want to visit gorillas?Do they want to visit us?"

" We want totally nude beaches.We have great bodies under these clothes. "

"Do we get a discount for belonging to gamblers anonymous?"

"We're contract killers.We prefer business class."

" We hate vacations.We do it for the mileage. "

"Can't Wilbur keep the complimentary, Fish Scaler/Key Fob ...
We will be re-booking 'The Wonders of the Wilderness' vacation,
next Spring."

Oh no, don't bother with the cruise cancellation insurance he said. What could possibly go wrong he said?

Does a singles cruise to Cancun meet the minimum guidelines for social distancing from my husband?

"We'll take anywhere where we don't have to wear a mask."

"Stop pushing your romantic destinations...we've been married for 35 years."

"How come your brochures for beach vacations never mention sand fleas?"

Sorry, my husband assumed billions in airline & cruise industry bailout would trickle down.

He's not convinced that the world's Largest Indoor Ball Pit is a plus on this cruise.

Sorry you can`t book any holidays today my computer is self isolating.

He's only going to be happy if you can offer him a time travel package away from the year 2020.

"Does the 'all-inclusive' package include complimentary COVID-19 masks, defibrillators and unlimited open-bar?"

"Can we pre-pay for the trip with our Medi-Care and AARP cards?"

"Is our blood-type and DNA samples really necessary for the Deluxe package?"

"What do you think our odds are for a complete recovery if
we make it back alive?"

"Tell us more about this 'burial-at-sea' package clause is all about?"

"How much is the deductible and co-pay option for this cruise?"

Tim Collins -- Your ten captions (these six plus four more that you sent to my "Winner of . . . " posting) all arrived this morning, many hours after the midnight deadline.

They are appreciated, but of course they did not get included in the judging.

-- Eli

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