Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 148

Contest No. 148 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the "Captcha" box. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, June 25, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


The guard said I am so well behaved on Office Fridays that he'll let me dress up as the manager next week.

I am glad I was caught, this is the first vacation I have
had in years.

...and then I told the judge I was the guy who came up with "Lock her up!".

This is the life. No rent, no bills and
free health care.

"I took from the rich and the poor."

"I took from the rich, but kept it."

"I'm just here for the medical and dental."

"Don't I look slimmer, without those HORIZONTAL STRIPES?"

"Well Doc, it all began, when Maw took that Beer, while I
was in Utero!"

"Talk about your 'Small World', you worked for Trump, too?"

"I know, you're not Going Anywhere, but ...
would you love me, if I DIDN'T have these
Hair Extensions?"

I said, "I'd kill for some Jell-O" and long story short...

"I'm just here for the free haircuts."

"Dad, I tried to tell you ... you can't just take the Mercedes
for a 'TEST DRIVE', without running it by the Salesman, FIRST!"

“So, do you think it is too late to enter the Democratic primary?”

Oh, it's just bank fraud, a few hundred million. It paid for my lawyers. I'll be out any day now.

I told the judge I was taking the fifth. Then I picked it up and made a run for it.

I need a bigger bed,i`m in for a long stretch.

Yeah, I use my tunnel every night. But this place is cheaper than a motel.

"I had to choose ...
'3 to 5,' OR,

"I had to choose ...
'3 to 5'... OR

it's been a great break from my wife's cooking!

It seems like I've been in here forever! Are OJ and Cosby working on anything new?

I can't wait to get out of here next week. I really need to update my Myspace page!

I'm keeping the mullet until I get out on parole.

I’m in for contempt of court. I told the judge she looked fat in that robe.

"Every Monday we have conjugal visits. A come comes in with a long list of verbs to conjugate."

"I tell you, they treat us inhumane here. Last night they forgot to put a mint on my pillow!"

"3 To 5' ... Or, 'Married For Life' ...
You do the Math!"

"All I said, was - 'Open this door and let me in ... or else!' to my
Grade 2 student, and here I am ... for threatening a minor!"

"This is the 'Campus version' ... of TIME OUT!"

"You didn't do it? That's what everybody says here. But I admit I said, 'I'll kill the next man who tells me he didn't do it."

"Don't worry, my wife's sending me a cake with a file in it. We'll have the nicest looking nails in the joint."

"Mondays are great because we have conjugal visits. A guy comes with a long list of verbs to conjugate."

"It's mostly non-violent here, except for occasional pillow fights."

"It's not that bad. The last time, the cartoonist drew me stranded on a small island."

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