Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No.147

Contest No. 147 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the "Captcha" box. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, May 28, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


Isn't this, I don't know, overkill?

“Don’t I get one game of chess?”

I give up, my wife can have it all.

Your soul or your life, take your pick.

"But . . I thought the IRS would send a warning letter first!!"

"Well, definitely my money."

"Take whatever you want, just don't...well, you know."

"The gun is kind of overkill, don't you think?"

"My money is in my pocket, just don't kill me."

"How about just a heart attack instead?"

"Fine, but the scythe is a little much."

"To be clear, you're just looking for money and jewelry?"

"You won't kill me? Frankly, I don't think I believe you."

Yes! Yes! I've cheated Death many times but that's no reason to make this personal!

Sorry, but I already gave my life to my lord and saviour Jesus Christ!

Sorry, but I'll have to ask my wife first!

Sorry, but I can't spare one... my wife already says I need to "get a life"!

Can you wait until Thursday, I have a specialist appointment on Wednesday that I've been waiting months for.

Can I at least return my Netflix DVDs first. I hear the late fees are killer!

Can we at least wait to see if the Rogaine actually works!?

I usually pay my regular barber after he`s given me a shave.

Seems you're buying me a shiny new scythe.

You are too late, my wife took it all, "body and soul"

This has been a great near-death experience. Catch you later?

“Wait...wait !!!! If I don’t text my wife...SHE”ll kill me!!!!

Thank God I don't have to go through with that colonoscopy!!!

"Even I have to make a living, Mr. Jones."

"Hurry up, will you. My wife will kill me if I'm late for supper."

Well, this just completed my denial stage but there are four more stages to go.

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