Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 143

Contest No. 143 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, February 5, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


"I'll have your job before you know it!"

"I can start on Tuesday, but then I'll need three weeks of vacation."

"My dad made me take this interview as a formality. He's the CEO, you know."

"My skills? Ask me on a Saturday night!"

Yes! I always start my sales pitch with a bad wife joke, the girls all love it.

“Thank you , ma’am, now would you kindly inform the gentleman I am ready for my interview???

"I'm particularly experienced at trimming payrolls in areas such as human resources."


"No, I did not bring Curriculum Vitae, I don`t know anyone called that."

Wow, that's quite the motivational banner you got there!

So what I’m not a me too contributor!

"My greatest asset . . . I'm willing to take orders
from a Broad!"

"I'm guessing ... 'YOU' will be ready for retirement, soon?"

"I guess I don't have to convince you how desperate I am
to land this job . . . especially after ducking out on you,
in the restaurant."

Good morning, Miss Personnel. I used to have my name on my desk too.

"So ... what is your policy on Cannabis breaks?"

In pre-school, I got the blue ribbon for being able to color inside the lines. In Kindergarten I got the Reading Rainbow prize. And in first grade...

Sorry to cut you off in the parking lot ...
just trying to be punctual!

What's up doc?

I noticed you spelled "personal" wrong

I hope you don't mind that I moved my chair catty-corner from yours so we can talk more intimately.

My dog ate my resume. Next question.

Who did you sleep with?

Let's cut to the chase. Who do I sleep with to get a job around here?

Let's cut to the chase. When do I start!

"You spelled 'PERSONAL' wrong."

"Hey babe, how do you want your eggs in the morning?"

"So when is the baby due?"

"Uh-oh, now I wish I'd swiped right instead of left."

"Donald Trump. Best President ever!"

"Sorry I'm late, I was trying to sober up."

"Will this take long? I have lunch plans."

"I don't work well with others, especially women your age."

"The man doing the interview is not here yet?"

"I'm supposed to be meeting with my parole officer now, but I didn't want to miss your interview."

"I'd like one of your overseas positions. I'm wanted in 9 states here."

"Eventually, I'd like to become the Personnel Director here."

"Can you get me a cup of coffee?"

"Well, this is awkward ... but remember, Louise ... it's in
YOUR best interests to hire me -- with the alimony and all!"

"The bad news, is ... I dented your new Mercedes.
The good news, is ... if I get the job -- I'll be
happy to pay!"

"My appointment was LAST Thursday ... are you sure?"

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me!"

"I'd like to ask you some personal questions."

"Hey, nobody told me they were going to ask me questions. I usually get a job on my looks."

"Flirting?, of course I'm flirting. How else do you get a job?"

"I'm applying for the Vice President position...but I'll take the mail room if that's all you have."

"Well, since I've positioned myself at the head of the table, maybe I should be asking all the questions here."

"Only I can make your company great again!"

"Relax, Ma'am ... It"s not the FIRE ALARM ... It's my
ANKLE BRACELET! I'm out of my five-mile radius."

"I see, this office promotes CASUAL FRIDAY attire!"

"Well I wouldn't say I was actually fired, they just made me VP of Employment Acquisition!

"What's your policy on hidden cameras in the washrooms?"

"I have a very particular set of skills that make me a nightmare for HR people like you. If you hire me now I will not pursue other offers. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find a good EEOC lawyer, and I will file for unemployment discrimination!"


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