Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 127

Contest No. 127 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest.  This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 12, 2017.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


"Now I'll show you our exit strategy!"

Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly

Don"t worry, you will not feel a thing.

"Come see the new employee motivation technique I developed..."

When the boss said heads must roll on this one...we're taking him literally!

I thought it was time we sharpened your marketing skills!

Congratulations, Burns, you`ve got the lead part in the remake of Blade Runner.

Come along, Jones, and I`ll introduce you to our new welfare manager, Gill O`teen.

I was brought up in a household that valued time-efficiency over all other things. This is where we gave each other haircuts!

"We call this our Loyalty Room."

"And we're proud to say the company has never missed a deadline."

"Before we go in, just remember we ARE a headhunting firm."

"Don't worry, we'll keep you updated on your performance."

"You know Bill, it is quite unusual for a young associate to be named new product tester and a true honor indeed."

Don"t worry, your head is in good hands.

"You gotta check out my new cigar tip cutter."

"I found a way to save a lot of money on haircuts."

"I just got something on my bucket list."

"This is guaranteed to take away your headache."

"Let me show you some of my mounted heads."

We have a proven method of reducing our staff, and saving money from company payouts.

Don't worry, your headache will soon be a thing of the past.

"I found it on a late night infomercial...It slices, it dices, makes Julienne Fries, and...Well, I just couldn't resist it!"

"This game is all about buckets."

"When the executive board put my company on the chopping block, I decided to get sweet revenge."

"What say we end off a perfect evening with a fun parlor game?"

"We've made a slight change to our rec room."

"We find this works much better than inspirational posters."

"Welcome back home, son. We haven't changed a thing in your room since you left for college."

"I hate to cut you short but I have to get up early tomorrow."

"Well, it's not as if I'm dropping the hammer on you."

"Don't be concerned, it's an old blade, it never hurt anyone seriously."

And here's how we enforce our new zero tolerance policy on sexual harassment.

"Yes, Vasectomies have come a long way, but I'm still old-school!"

"I used to have a head of hair like you too, but I've got the hang of it now!"

"I can't tell you how many close shaves I've had with just one blade!"

"And you get to keep the basket!"

"For your last Deli School final exam test, I'd like a half-pound of corned beef, sliced thin!"

"Sure, two out of three seems fair to me!"

"No, please, I insist, you go first!"

"Hannibal, you kill me!"

"You're killing me Smalls!"

"Absolutely, our first weight loss treatment guarantees you'll lose at least eight pounds, or your money back!"

"We'll see?" "My personal best is nine in one try!"

"When I was a kid I got them all in bucket #1 on Bozo's Circus TV show!"

"After were done here, I'll take you bowling in the basement!"

"Let me give you a little heads-up about my daughter, son!"

"This headcheese recipe has been in our family for years!"

...and now, Human Resources.

Thanks for your caption, Alex, but it arrived after the Tuesday midnight deadline, so it couldn't be considered. I hope you try again in the future, and please observe the deadlines.


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