Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 114

Contest No. 114 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, February 28, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. This is a really old drawing of mine, going back many, many decades -- it was even finished off with a brush rather than a pen, since I was experimenting with such things a long time ago. As for the subject matter, well, you know what we gag cartoonists always like to say: "When you have nothing else, you can't go wrong if you throw in a psychiatrist."  Have fun with it.


I'm an old cowhand from the Rio Grande.

I don't know what is wrong with me Doc, all I feel like playing
is Sleepy time tunes

"Give me pills, lots of pills, and the starry skies above..."

"And then this lonesome whipporwill flew over the midnight train ..."

When I asked you to pay me in Cash I didn`t mean singing his songs.

My hero is the Naked New York Cowboy. But, in my case I have small hands.

You're obligated to stay for the entire hour, right?

"Home, home on the brain..."

1. "I hate my mother because she didn't let her babies grow up to be cowboys."

2. "Back in the shrink's couch again."

"I hate my father because he named me 'Sue'."

"Home, home on the couch. Where the id and the ego do play..."


"Old McDonald couldn't spell,......E-I-E-I-O"! "And on that,

"If you think I'm paying you $300 bucks an hour for this, Doc, you might be a redneck"!

"My dogies won't get along"!

"I feel like everyone is yodeling at me behind my back"!

"I can't keep from call'in everyone "SON",... someofabitch"!

"I tried EHarmony.com, they gave me this guitar and said don't come back"!

"I am unable to have big fun on the bayou."

"My girl done did leave me, I crashed my pick-up and my dog died. But you don't have to be lonely at FarmersOnly.com!"

"Don't worry, it's not the Blues."

"I have the health care co-pay bluuuuues!"

I'll be taking a short break between each set.

So you want to hear about the windmills of my mind?

Did you ever hear the one about the bucket with the hole in it?

It all started when I realized I'm a rolling stone.

It's great you're a karaoke psychiatrist but could you put some more country into your song list?

"Yup, I've got anger management issues...I can't stop punching cattle."

"The last man who told me 'my time is up,' I outdrew in gunfight!"

"I'm doing much better, doc. I used to have a banjo on my knee."

"It's all my mother's fault. I warned her to not let her babies grow up to be cowboys."

"I just can't lose the morning bluuues."

"I got the blues cause there's nowhere left to go. I've been to Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota . . ."

"I hope you don't mind that I have to pay you with cow chips."

I'm the only psychiatrist that plays the guitar lying down while my patients tell me their problems.

"My wife left me, my company folded, I've got an incurable disease, and that's just the first stanza of my life."

"I was hoping you could say something encouraging about me because, on the range, seldom is heard an encouraging word."

"I don't know who this Oedipus Rex is, but is he related to Rex Allan?"

"I'm good at making myself, and everyone else, depressed. After all, I do sing Country Western songs."

I want to sing my new song for you, "The Therapy Blues".

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.

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