Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 75

Contest No. 75 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, November 4, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption. As you can tell from the drawing, it's a very old cartoon of mine -- it goes back well over 50 years. And remember, the cartoon never sold, so you shouldn't have any problem being funnier than my original caption.



NO, you will not be getting your own set of keys.

He's writing his best price! Please son, give me the money from your lottery winnings. I'm dying to buy this car.

Now remember, this is for driving, not parking.

Why should I buy you a car when half of it is missing?

Son, the detective next to me is writing a description of the dead body in the back seat.

You expect me to buy you this car when you tell me you'll drive it right out even though theres no door in this showroom?

Son, you promise if I buy this car you'll teach me to drive it.

Son, I've decided to buy this for you as your Bar-Mitzvah gift.

You kids are having your midlife crises much earlier these days.

1. "It's a dance. I kick the tires and he says, 'Let me run this by my manager.'"

2. "Remember if your mother ever asks, the 12 speaker sound system came standard."

3. "Life lesson #1: Never trust a used car salesman. Tomorrow we'll talk about the birds and bees."

4. "No, GM doesn't stand for Girl Magnet."

He's lowering the price. Son, you are so smart to notice the car is missing 2 wheels, the back seat and the engine.

Now that I just bought this car for you, you tell me you really want a motorcycle?

I know that guy is a customer, but Jack, as your neighbor I think I should tell you not to display your used cars for sale in your living room.

1. "What's it going to take me to get you OUT of this car?"

2. "He doesn't throw in the trunk hot tub, we're walking."

I can't believe it!!!!! I just bought this car for you, and you now tell me you want to enter it in a Demolition Derby

It's called a convertible, son, not "topless"!

"Son, I'm going to show you how to make a sensible decision. We're getting the Edsel."

1."These days, everything is an option. They even want $49.95 for the 'New Car Smell.'"

2. "Remember, you don't need a wire hanger if you get locked out with the top down."

3. "It's called 'The Art of the Deal." I could have bought a Picasso for less than this car."

4. "Remember, stay under 60 until you get out of the driveway."

Your son is 4 years old and you want me to buy this car as a birthday present for him?

1."I haven't the slightest idea what Corinthian leather is, but I figure it's better than the standard Velveeta vinyl seats."

2. "This model comes with the best car jack. In fact he's using it right now to jack up the price."

3. "It goes from 0 to 200 in under 5 seconds...Just like your mother when she steps on the bathroom scale."

4. "Four years of Business School, and all you can think of saying is, 'Price sounds fair to me!'"

5. "I've ordered every option, but now I only have one option...come out of retirement."

Have I spoiled you!!! I'm buying this car for you knowing it just drives backward.

Have I spoiled you!!! I'm buying this car for you so you can drive it to school. But's it's just a block away.

I'm buying this car for you for $12,000. Why am I buying it in Toys R Us?

You want me to buy the car so you can impress your friends. But you don't have any friends!!!

Son, I know you love antiques, but I will not buy you an Edison Cylinder Phono to attach to your dashboard.

You had to shout how much you love this car? Now the salesman is figuring out how to overcharge us.

The sign says this model starts at $11,000. Why would it be $37,345 because we added a radio?

"Your student loan better cover this car."

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