Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 63

Contest No. 63 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, February 18, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


Edna, the receptionist, was the butt of every joke at the company.

"Actually, I'm very concerned about the effect of second hand smoke."

"I think I may have overlooked something in my job description."

"Thank you for called Dewey, Smokem and Howe, how may I help you?"

"I'm sorry, this isn't the tobacco quit helpline. It's a common mistake."

Doctor, whenever my office is full of people, I get dizzy.

"Philip Morris, how can I help you?"

Did you say that the Circus is in town, and the acts are "smoking hot ones?" drmrs 2/11/2014

"Good morning, 'Smoke Beginners International' how may we help you?"

I'm making an ash of myself.

I can't work here a millimeter longer.

Big Tobacco just got bigger.

This isn't Kool.

"I just got a promotion to the front ash tray."

"Kaufman and Kaufman, experts in subliminal advertising."

1) I think I'm going to be canned.
2) Where there's smoke, there's firings.
3) The trouble is this job does have its lighter moments.
4) They say conditions will improve, but I'm not holding my breath.

My therapist likes to uncover my hidden depths. But he also says sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

The medication helped me quit smoking but there's some worrisome side effects.

"Personally, I wouldn't have chosen this reception desk for the Girls Scouts of America."

"First guy who comes in and actually tries to use this...I'm out of here."

"The night janitor says it takes him an hour just to empty this monstrosity."

Oh, hi Gladys,I got a "lucky strike". The "viceroy" and "parliament" chose me to be the receptionist here in "marlboro" country. It's really "kool".Say hello to "winston" and "kent", ta ta!

"Apparently I was taking too many smoking breaks."

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