Category: Departments

“Explain it to me again — which day of Passover is this?”

(by Marc Eliot Stein)

My original caption: “You’ve caught a virus. There’s a lot of it going around these days.”

Congratulations, Marc Eliot Stein, on this, your fifth victory. And wasn’t it a long time coming? Your last win was way back in June 2021, in Contest No. 174. But persistence pays and once again you are one of the funniest people around, so the bragging rights are all yours.

This time I was able to choose a winning caption that actually made me laugh out loud. Apparently, there was a lot of confusion among you Captioneers as to what was flying around that doctor’s examination room. This was not intentional, by the way. It’s simply that I did this drawing many decades ago, long before the Covid pandemic revealed to the world what a virus actually looked like. So I was forced to use artistic license. I was truly amazed that so many of you concluded that they were “stars”. Anyway, I really appreciated Marc’s caption, which tied them into the ten plagues of the Passover holiday story. That was sheer genius, Marc. I thought the “snow globe” approach, used by two Captioneers, was also pretty clever.

Here are the other captions that “came that close”:

“You seem to have quite a large following.” (by Diane Weisman)

“I’m afraid we’re both seeing them.” (by Joe Ayella)

“Are the spiders in the room with us now?” (by Kelly Nagle)

“It was a lifelong dream to practice medicine inside a snow globe.” (by Sharon Groth)

“Obviously something is bugging you!” (by Lee Lacewell)

“How long have you had this feeling that you’re living in a snow globe?” (also by Lee Lacewell)

“Now comes the Field of Vision test.” (By Michael Lomazow)

“Once you connect the dots, we’ll have the answer.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

“It looks like Hepatitis Bee.” (also by Lee Lacewell)

“Swarm in here, isn’t it?” (by Jasmine)

“Well, it’s an interesting superpower.” (by Rory Steen)

And last, but not least, another big shout-out to Captioneer Joe Ayella. He is again the winner of The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. You can see his winning caption in their September 1, 2025 issue. That’s his second New Yorker victory this year, if my calculations are correct. Wow!

Contest No 230 will be posted here before you know it. Thank you all for participating!

Contest No. 229 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, August 27, 2025.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“Breaking News: There is no breaking news. Repeat: No breaking news. More at 11.”

(by Kelasher)

My original caption: “This is breaking news, so stop reading the crawl at the bottom of your screen and listen up.”

Breaking News! The winning caption for Contest No. 228 will have the phrase “Breaking News” in it. Even my old original caption (which was from the last century) includes those magic words! Anyhow, my congratulations go out to you, Kelasher, on this, your fourteenth victory. Your last win was in Contest No. 210 early last year, and before that it was in Contest No. 165, way back in 2020. Don’t forget to claim all the bragging rights that go along with your victory.

Here are the other submissions that I judged to be worthy of consideration:

“Today’s news is there is no news. Good night.” (by Diane Weisman)

“Breaking News: there is absolutely no Breaking News tonight.” (by Joe Ayella)

“Breaking News . . .  ‘There is no Breaking News’.” (by Harvey Appelbaum)

“Recapping the night in sports, half the teams won and the other half lost.” (also by Joe Ayella)

“If by the remote chance that you have a Television with knobs . . . don’t touch that dial!” (by Lee Lacewell)

“Closed captioning is provided for those that can’t believe their ears.” (by Mark S.)

“The good news is that you don’t need to water your lawn. The bad news is that a tsunami is coming.” (by Michael Lomazow)

And last but not least, another big shoutout to Captioneer Joe Ayella, whose caption won an honorable-mention cash prize in Cartoon Stock’s Cartoon Caption Contest this week. Now that is really Breaking News! Keep up the good work, Joe.

There will be a new Contest in due time, Captioneers, so keep a sharp lookout for it. Thanks for participating.

Contest No. 228 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, July 30, 2025.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Sure it’s an ancient-looking TV set — the cartoon was drawn many, many years ago, remember? Good luck, Captioneers!

Contest No. 227 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, July 2, 2025.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“Good thing his t-shirt doesn’t say ‘Save the Shrimps!”

(by Joe Ayella)

My original caption: “For you, Lori — it’s the one who collects whales!”

Congratulations on this, your third victory, Joe Ayella! As a long-time shrimp lover I greatly appreciated the sentiment expressed in your caption (shrimp is my favorite meal at my local Thai restaurant). So once again you have earned the bragging rights — you are indeed one of the funniest people around.

These are the other captions that were seriously in competition:

“Honey, he is here to pick up the whale in our pool!” (by Jasmine Valentino)

“Honey, on second thought, cancel the fish fry!” ( by Rich Wolf)

“Susie, your new boyfriend is here and I’m going to call this one Ishmael!” (by Marc Eliot Stein)

“Relax, he only wants his Save The Earth T-shirt.” (by Pat Foley)

“You better sit down Sweetie. The young man at the door wants to save the whales by putting them in an aquarium.” (by Silvana Lagrotteria)

“Marge . . . don’t you think adopting a whale is something we should have discussed first?” (by Lee Lacewell)

Cartoon Caption Contest No. 227 will be posted in due time, Captioneers, so please keep a sharp lookout for it. Many thanks for participating!

Contest No. 226 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, June 4, 2025.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“I need to see your SMART ID license to let you in.”

(by Michael Lomazow)

My original caption: “Innovative or non-innovative cuisine?”

Congratulations on this, your seventh victory, Michael Lomazow. Your last win wasn’t that long ago, in Contest No. 222. The boasting rights are all yours — you are once again one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other caption entries that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Shoes on or shoes off?” (by Joe Ayella)

“You’re a bit late for the ‘early bird specials’ but your timing is perfect for our ‘menus without prices’.” (by Lee Lacewell)

“A table by the window? You’re in luck, there’s a McDonald’s two miles south of here.” (by Pat Foley)

“I reserve the right to unreserve your reservation.” (by Diane Weisman)

“You said you don’t mind waiting . . . so go take the drink orders for table 10!” (also by Lee Lacewell)

“Your reservation’s in the book, but I still need the secret password.” (also by Joe Ayella)

“Vaping or no vaping?” (by Jasmin V)

A new Contest will be posted in due time, Captioneers, so watch for it, and thanks for your participation!

Contest No. 225 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, May 7, 2025.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“I think my little talk with him may have motivated him. He uncrossed his arms a couple of hours ago.”

(by Lee Lacewell)

My original caption: “He received an Error Message on his computer yesterday, and he hasn’t moved from there since.”

Congratulations, Lee Lacewell, on your second victory in Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest. Your first win was in August 2023, in Contest No 202. Once again you can bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other entries that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“My husband’s new theme song: I got plenty o’ nuttin, and nuttin’s plenty for me.” (by Diane Weisman)

“He wanted to do all his favorite things before the tariffs kicked in.” (by Jonathan Stein)

“He started on a La-Z-Boy and graduated to a La-Z-Man.” (by Joe Ayella)

“On the positive side, I always know where to find him.” (also by Joe Ayella)

“I really wish he wouldn’t eat crackers in bed.” (by Silvana Lagrotteria)

“He’ll wake to place his lunch order very soon.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“He’s the big spud of couch potatoes.” (by Pat Foley)

“He was devastated by the ending of White Lotus.” (by Kelly Nagle)

A few SHOUT-OUTS:

First, to Captioneer Joe Ayella, who really scored a huge one. He recently won the New Yorker’s Cartoon Caption Contest, as announced in their March 10th issue. As Caption Contests go, Joe, you can’t get any higher than that. Big congrats!

Second, Captioneer Mark Schaeffer was a cash prize runner-up last week in Bob Mankoff’s CartoonStock Caption Contest. That’s the way to go, Mark. Congrats!

Also, while I’m writing about Mark Schaeffer, I’m pleased to report that he did some outstanding detective work recently. He found several published versions of some of my King Features Syndicate “Laff-A-Day” cartoon panels, some of which go back to the 1970’s. I didn’t have them, and I thought they were lost forever, but he managed to track a few of them down and now I’ll be able to add them to my archive.  Many, many thanks, Mark!

The next Contest will be posted in due course, Captioneers, so keep an eye out for it. Thanks for participating!