Category: Cartoon Caption Contests

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 172

“Can you guide me to the pool?”

(by Harvey Appelbaum)

 

“I seem to have lost my way. Can you guide me to the pool area?”

(by Diane Weisman)

 

My original caption: “I’d like to pursue a career in the Sun Belt.”

 

Yes, once again it’s a tie. The obvious reason is that these two captions are essentially identical. They both came in during the first three days of the contest, before I publicly posted any captions, so there wasn’t any hanky-panky plagiarism going on. Congatulations Harvey Appelbaum (third victory!) and Diane Weisman (fifth victory!). You are now officially two of the funniest people around.

This must be a dry spell for you Captioneers. There wasn’t much in the way of sparkling out-of-the-box humor in the few entries that came in. Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Should I use SPF 25 or 50?” (by Richard). Pretty clever, Richard – – almost made it.

“You wanted to see me about my priorities?”  (by Pat Foley)

“The Dean said I should see you for some reason.” (by Ronn Roxx)

 

Contest No. 173 will be starting in about a fortnight or so – – keep on the lookout for it, and thanks for participating!

 

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Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 172

Contest No. 172 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Thursday April 15, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

 

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Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 171

“Your honor, we the jury found the plot cliched and predictable, the characters vague and the dialogue verbose and overwritten. The role of the bailiff was played with authority by Byron M. Whittaker, however, and Sharon Pellman was appealing in a cameo as the daughter of the defendant.”

(by Gayden Wren)

 

My original caption: ” We, the jury, find the defendant has crossed the fine line between innocence and guilt.”

 

Whew! A tough one to judge. But Gayden Wren’s caption finally won out (no, I didn’t flip a coin). Good job, Gayden — it’s your well-deserved second victory (first one was in Contest No. 139) and I hope you will be enjoying your re-emergence as one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other captions that were under serious consideration:

“We the Jury, after much discussion, feel like our hotel was average, the food terrible, and Juror 4 has a severe case of halitosis. Oh, and guilty on all counts.” (by Rich Wolf)

“We, the jury, find the judge guilty.” (by Cary Antebi)

“In addition, we also find the defendant guilty of insulting our intelligence.” (by Charles Vaughan)

“Your honor, we are hopelessly deadlocked. Half the jury wants Italian food for dinner tonight, the other half wants Chinese.” (by Mel Tanenbaum)

“What we have here is failure to adjudicate.” (by Pat Foley)

“You seem nice but you’re no Judge Judy.” (by Michael Lomazow)

And a special shout-out to captioneer Michael Lomazow. I see that on March 3rd he was the third-place runner-up on Bob Mankoff’s online Cartoon Caption Contest (Bob Mankoff, for those of you who don’t know, was the Cartoon Editor of The New Yorker magazine for many, many years). Way to go, Michael — I guess it’s only a matter of time before you win the “Big” Caption Contest, the one that appears weekly in The New Yorker.

My Contest No. 172 will be posted in just a few short weeks. Thanks for participating, captioneers!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 171

Contest No. 171 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Thursday March 18, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

 

 

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 170

“No, you can’t have a lollipop.”

(by Marc Eliot Stein)

 

My original caption: “You’re morphing into a big fat slob.”

 

Congratulations, Marc Eliot Stein, on your third victory. It was a long time coming — the last time you charted was way back in September 2016, in Contest No. 106. So I guess patience is a virtue and now you’ll be celebrating and whooping it up because once again you have proved to be one of the funniest people around.

There were lots of captions, folks, but it seemed to me that a good many of the submissions were tired re-hashings of all the old doctor/patient gags that have been circulating for decades. When it comes to humor, there’s still a lot to be said for originality and thinking outside the box.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“I’d say you need a little less in the middle and a little more on top.” (by Gayden Wren)

“You have it backwards: it’s three meals a day, and seven food groups.” (by Rich Wolf)

“The good news is that you don’t have covid 19. The bad news is that you have covid 20-24.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“I recommend you stay six feet away from your fridge.” (by Kelasher)

“A classic case of P.D.S. — Pillsbury Doughboy Syndrome!” (by Kay Ralph).  This one came in a close second — I had a hard time deciding between this caption and the winning caption — good job!

The next contest will be posted in just a few short weeks, captioneers. Keep on the lookout for it.

 

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 170

Contest No. 170 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Thursday February 18, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 169

“Pandemic, insurrection, impeachment or This Is Us?”

(by sharon)

 

My original caption: “I’m putting on the news. It’s eleven o’clock and I need details.”

 

Nice work, sharon — it’s a big eighth victory for you. Congratulations on once again demonstrating that you still have what it takes to maintain your title of “one of the funniest people around.”

If anyone needs an explanation of my original caption — it dates back umpteen years (check out that old TV set — not even a flat screen!) to a time when it was quite common for a newscaster in the early evening to come up with a teaser disaster headline, followed by, “details at eleven”.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering:

“OK honey, I’ll give up the remote if you stop reading your book.” (by Diane Weisman)

“I think I’ve been banned.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“Explain binge watching one more time.” (by Rich Wolf)

“Yes it’s the Food Network. I can’t handle the news anymore!” (by Brendan Gannon)

“Well, my boss does want me to work remotely.” (by Pat Foley)

“I just figured out the joke Milton Berle told in 1953.” (by Marc Eliot Stein)

“Maybe General Hospital has the Covid vaccine.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

 

A new Contest will be posted before you know it — thanks for participating!

 

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 169

Contest No. 169 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Read More and Add Your Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Thursday January 21, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

 

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 168

“Well, I guess I can dispense with the question, ‘Have you been good or bad?’”
(by Cary Antebi)

“I won’t bother to ask if you’ve been naughty or nice!”
(by David Grand)

Yes, it’s another tie! These two strikingly similar captions came in on the very first day of the contest. I didn’t post them until four days later, so nobody, except me, was able to see them for the first three days. Congratulations to Cary Antebi (his thirtieth win — yes, that’s not a mistake, thirtieth! . . . and his last victory was ages ago, in Contest No. 126), and to comparative newcomer David Grand (this is his second win and his first victory was another tie . . . in Contest No. 153).

That Covid-19 bug seems to consistently bring out lots of funny captions. Here are the others that I was seriously considering:

“You realize this beard isn’t a mask, right?” (by John Platt)

“Ho Ho . . . Cough Cough . . . Hack Hack . . . Wheeze Wheeze!” (also by Cary Antebi)

“No, you can’t come visit me in the North Pole!?” (by Kay Ralph)

“Could you put your requests in the mail this year.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“No, you can’t have all the world’s masks.” (by Rich Wolf)

“Please sanitize your chimney, though.” (by Sharon)

“Let’s do this on Zoom next time.” (also by Sharon)

“You’re getting a gift that keeps on giving — a vaccine.” (by Pat Foley)

 

Nice work, Captioneers. A new Contest will be up before you can say “Pfizer/BioNTech and Moderna immunization vaccination”, so be on the lookout for it.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 168

Contest No. 168 starts right now (it’s another special pandemic contest).

Briefly, here are the details: Usually, I supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. For this contest, I’m supplying a new drawing. You are invited to submit your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment” on the bottom of this posting. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot — please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of the contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 15, 2020. Shortly after that, the winner will be announced and the winning caption will be posted. I will be the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted. Again, for this special contest only, I am not supplying an old, unpublished cartoon of mine, so I do not have any original caption to reveal.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

Wow, this coronavirus is really getting around. A few months ago it was on an almost deserted island, and just before that it was seen on a psychiatrist’s couch. Well, it’s the holiday season, so what better place for it to pop up than on Santa’s lap? What does jolly old St. Nick have to say to his little guest? Well, that’s up to you, captioneers . . .  good luck! And if you do happen to have little babes planning to visit Santa (not at all recommended this year), make sure they’re masked and well protected, because we all have to stay healthy!

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Foreword

Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).
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