Category: Departments

Contest No. 206 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, November 22, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“I guess we’re both sleeping in the dog house tonight.”

(by Jonathan Stein)

My original caption: “Don’t tell me — let me guess — your mother’s here.”

Congratulations, Jonathan Stein, on this, your fourth victory. And it’s been a long time coming — your last win was ages ago, in Contest No. 150. You’re definitely one of the funniest people around and you’ve earned the right to declare it from the rooftops (even if it’s only from doghouse rooftops).

Here are the other captions that were under serious consideration for top honors:

“I’m taking the mutt for a walk in ten minutes. You’ll probably need your coat.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“I’m leaving you so he can have the doghouse all to himself.” (by Ken Wilkinson)

“Looks like we both have to go.” (by Rich Wolf)

“I know you like sniffing around, but now you have our dog doing it.” (by Diane)

“His name is Liberace. The pet shop owner said ‘of all the dogs they’ve sold over the last ten years he’s the pee-n-ist’.” ( by Lee Lacewell)

“Just remember, Buddy, you’re my best friend. She’s just my wife.” (by Scott Malcolm)

Contest No. 206 will be coming up before you know it, Captioneers, so be on the lookout for it. Keep those funny captions coming, and thanks for participating!

Contest No. 205 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, October 25, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Once again, this is another ancient cartoon of mine — I’m guessing that I probably originally drew it about 60 or 65 years ago. Good luck, Captioneers!

“My answer is ‘yarr’.”

(by Diane Weisman)

My original caption: “It’s not that I don’t like you, Tom . . . ”

Congratulations, Diane Weisman, on this, your eighth victory! Your last win was in Contest No. 185, so persistence pays off . . . well, maybe not in money, but at least in the knowledge that you are once again one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other captions that were in serious contention:

“But what about law school?” (by Michael Lomazow)

“No, Randall, I don’t want to be your ‘biker chick’.” (by Pat Foley)

“First of all it’s wife not old lady.” (by Lee Lacewell)

“My answer to will I marry you, depends on if you are a Jet or a Shark.” (also by Diane Weisman)

“It’s not me, it’s you. You look like an idiot.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

“You would rent a tux for the ceremony . . . right?” (by Kay Ralph)

“Shiver me timbers bucko — I’m just not sure if I want to be your matey.” (by Gary)

“You only love me for my booty.” (by Mark S.)

“Yes, Donald, I’ll go to Sturgis with you.” (also by Pat Foley).  I’m not sure, Pat Foley, if this caption would be understood by anyone outside of the U.S.A. But it made me chuckle because ages ago my wife and I were auto-vacationing in the Western states and we quite by chance visited the gigantic annual motorcycle rally that takes place in the tiny town of Sturgis, South Dakota. It was mind-boggling!

Contest No. 205 will be posted soon enough, Captioneers, so keep on the lookout for it, and thanks for participating!

Contest No. 204 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, September 27, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. This is another really ancient cartoon of mine — I’m guessing that I probably originally drew it about 60 or 65 years ago. Good luck, Captioneers!

“Alexa? Siri wants to talk with you.”

(by Sharon)

My original caption: “Miss Marlowe, am I right-handed or left-handed?”

Congratulations, Sharon, on this, your 10th Caption Contest victory. It took a while (your last win was way back in Contest No. 175), but persistence pays off. You are once again one of the funniest people around, and you can shout it to the world.

As for my original caption (see above), I still like it very much and can’t figure out why it wasn’t snapped up and printed by at least one of my “business” publications.

Here are the other entries that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Diane, you know I can’t multitask.” (by Diane Weisman)

“Ms. Thompson, would you find somebody to call me, please?” (by Gayden Wren)

“Hold the phone, I’m on the phone.” (by Pat Foley)

“Did I say that? . . . over the P.A. system?” (by Lee Lacewell)

“Here I am surrounded by the most advanced communications technology humanity can ever possibly aspire to, even including a matching pen and pencil, and yet I still feel empty inside.” (by Marc Eliot Stein).  Do I detect a smidgen of sarcasm here, Marc??

A new contest will be posted before long, Captioneers. Keep up the good work and thanks for your participation.

Contest No. 203 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, August 30, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“It’s called a comb-over; you really should try it.”

(by Lee Lacewell)

My original caption: “You’re a fund-raiser? Is there a lot of money in that?”

Congratulations, Lee Lacewell, on this, your very first victory! You are now entitled to let the rest of the world know that you are officially one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other captions that were seriously in the running:

“If you invest with me, someone will get rich.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“I thought that Friday was dress down day.” (by Diane Weisman)

“So, what topics should we avoid?” (by Mark S.)

“You’ve always thought too horizontally, that’s the problem. If you think vertically, your hair will follow.” (by Jonathan Stein)

“There are the ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’. For example . . . I have hair.” (also by Lee Lacewell)

Fear not, Captioneers, the next contest will appear in due time. Thanks very much for participating!

Contest No. 202 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, August 2, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“Now, Margaret . . . when you said there was going to be a baby ‘Shower’ here today, exactly what did you mean?”

(by Kay Ralph)

My original caption: “Martha! You’ve thrown out the baby with the bath water again!”

Five of the captions submitted involved the “you’ve thrown out the baby with the bath water” theme (mimicking my old original caption — you Captioneers know me too well!) and three involved an Amazon delivery. All good, dependable captions. But this time I decided to pick a winner from outside the obvious box. So congratulations, Kay Ralph, on this, your seventh victory! It was a long time coming, since your last win was way back in Contest No. 161. But the bragging rights are all yours now — once again you are one of the funniest people around.

Here are all the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“I have heard of it “Raining Cats and Dogs” . . . but, this is ridiculous!” (also by Kay Ralph)

“You threw the baby out with the bathwater again.” (by Kelly)

“Honey, our package from Amazon has arrived.” (by Diane Weisman)

“Did you order from Amazon?” (by Michael Lomazow)

“Didn’t we tell Amazon to knock when they deliver a package?!” (by Rich Wolf)

“Cheryl, it’s for you!” (also by Rich Wolf)

“I told you, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!” (by Jonathan Stein)

“All these years I though ‘throwing the baby out with the bath water’ was just an old wives tale.” (by Lee Lacewell)

“Honey, you really have to get more sleep . . . you threw the baby out with the bath water again!” (also by Kay Ralph)

“We’re under a conserve water order! You’ve gotta stop throwing the bathwater out with the baby!” ( also by Lee Lacewell)

“See, honey . . . I told you naming the baby Fido would confuse him!” (by Abigail)

“If this wasn’t a cartoon already, I would draw a bath for him.” (by Pat Foley)

The next Contest, No. 202, will be posted here before you can say “You’ve thrown out the baby with the bath water” one hundred times without flubbing it. Thanks for participating, Captioneers!