Category: Departments

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 179

Contest No. 179 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You may also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot, so please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, October 27, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

At this point I want to add a big shout-out for Captioneer Pat Foley, who just experienced a spectacular triple winning streak. Not only did he win my last Cartoon Caption Contest (No. 178), and Bob Mankoff’s most recent Cartoon Caption Contest, but he has now pulled off the biggest victory yet. The latest issue of  The New Yorker, dated October 25, 2021, announced that his clever caption was also voted the winner of their Cartoon Caption Contest. Way to go, Pat Foley!

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 178

“You got that ‘I hope he signs it without looking’ look, again.”

(by Pat Foley)

 

My original caption: “I know that honesty is the best policy, but I could really use some wiggle room here.”

 

Congratulations, Pat Foley! This has been an outstanding week for you — not only did you gain this big first-time victory here, but I see that you also won Bob Mankoff’s latest online Cartoon Caption Contest, dated September 29, 2021. Way to go, Pat — you are doubly one of the funniest people around!

 

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honor:

“Taxes? But I haven’t paid those in years!” (by Jonathan Stein)

“I’m cracking myself up writing your performance review.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“Out with the old, in with the new . . . son, how could you?” (by Kay Ralph)

“So many redactions. Is there something I should know?” (also by Pat Foley)

“Think of it as a bi-lateral promotion transfer, Smedly! You go your way, and the company goes another way!” (by Tim Collins)

“Shhh! I’m working on my resignation letter. How do you spell ‘imbecile’?” (by Charles Vaughan)

 

A new Contest will be coming up shortly, Captioneers. Thanks for participating, and I hope to see some more of your victories in all of those other Caption Contests that are cropping up all over the place.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 178

Contest No. 178 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You may also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot, so please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, September 29, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 177

“Yes, we have reached a consensus. It turns out that we don’t care one way or the other.”

(by Charles+ Vaughan)

 

My original caption: “Your honor, I’m sorry to report that the twits and dingbats who make up the rest of this jury are hopelessly deadlocked.”

 

Congratulations, Charles + Vaughan, on this, your second victory (the first one was in Contest No. 157). Once again you can bask in the glory of  being one of the funniest people around.

 

Not much to say this time around, Captioneers. Someone reminded me that I posted another “jury foreman” drawing in this Contest not too long ago. Remember these old drawings of mine are dredged up from the many rejected cartoons of mine that have never sold to any publication, so it’s easy for me to lose track of repeat topics. Sorry about that — I guess I’ll hold back on my “law” cartoon rejections for a while.

Anyway, here are the other submitted entries that I was seriously considering:

“I’m sorry Judge, but the jury is deadlockd on whether we should order deli or Italian food for lunch.” (by Diane)

“We were promised ‘Judge Judy’!” (by Kay Ralph)

“Oh we have a verdict, but you won’t get it until we get lunch.” (by Rich Wolf)

“Remember Henry Fonda in 12 Angry Men? Well, we got one.” (by Pat Foley)

“You think we’re gonna reach a verdict? We can’t even agree on being vaccinated.” (by Marc Eliot Stein)

“You better get out of there before the judge comes back.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“How do you expect us to make a decision if you won’t lend us a quarter??” (also by Charles + Vaughan)

Another Contest will show up in no time at all, Captioneers. Thanks for joining in, and please remember, it’s all in fun.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 177

Contest No. 177 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You may also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot, so please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, September 1, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 176

“Of course they taste bad that way. You need to peel the wetsuit off first.”

(by Rich Nagle)

 

My original caption: ” Yes, son, being a shark requires a 24-7 commitment.”

 

Wow . . . it’s a big first victory for Rich Nagle! It seems to me that he’s been an on-again, off-again Captioneer for many years, practically since I first started these contests. So this was a well-deserved win, Rich — welcome aboard. You’re now officially confirmed as one of the funniest people around.

Your caption is about a thousand times funnier than my own rather tepid original caption, which dates back to the 1980’s or 1990’s. To this day, I don’t know why I thought it was funny enough for anyone to buy it or publish it — except for The New Yorker, of course. I’m still scratching my head trying to figure out some of the “cartoons” appearing in contemporary issues of TNY. But then again, I recognize that humor is a very personal and subjective matter, and that it can go off in all different directions.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Forget the fish right now and let’s have some fun scaring the swimmers near the surf.” (by Diane)

“Of course it’s Sushi! Everything down here is Sushi.” (by Brendan Gannon)

“Bob, you’re always going to be just a ‘good white’.” (by Rich Wolf)

“Wanna go swim around in the shallow waters and scare the tourists?” (by Ronn Roxx)

“I know that Chinese cruise ship just sank, but I’m hungry again!” (also by Ronn Roxx)

“Let’s go scare some surfers.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“They say you are what you eat. Maybe that’s why I can talk.” (by Pat Foley). This one made me laugh out loud, Pat!

“Well, dear, welcome to the ‘teen years’ . . . the kids are off in all directions!” (by Kay Ralph)

“The Scavenger Hunt list says it has to be a license plate from Oregon.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

 

Be on the lookout for the next Contest, Captioneers — it’ll be posted before you know it. Thanks for your input!

 

 

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 176

Contest No. 176 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You may also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot, so please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, August 4, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 175

“Don’t look now, but it’s a sea change!”

(by sharon)

 

My original caption: “Welcome to this beautiful tropical island paradise. By the way, are you familiar with the word ‘tsunami’?”

 

Congratulations, sharon, on this, your ninth victory! Once again you have earned the coveted bragging rights — you are definitely one of the funniest people around.

Now I’m going to apologize for not alerting everybody to what I thought was so obvious — that the caption has to come from the seashell (not from the guy who is listening). That’s the cliche that has developed in the cartoon world over the years, and I thought it was so well known that I didn’t have to mention it. Guess I was wrong. Many of your submissions had the listener speaking, and I had to reject all of those captions.

By the way, I thought that MY original caption was pretty good, too.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“I have this weird feeling that something bad is going to happen.” (by Diane)

“This is not a test. Run like hell.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“If you put down the shell, you would probably hear me better.” (by Rich Wolf)

“Mayday! . . . Mayday!” (by Kay Ralph)

“Anyone who says you can hear the ocean in a seashell is all wet.” (by Pat Foley)

“Water, water everywhere but especially here.” (by Kelasher)

“Prepare to swim with the fishes.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

 

A new contest will be posted before you know it, Captioneers. Thanks for participating, and remember, it’s supposed to be all in fun!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 175

Contest No. 175 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You may also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot, so please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, July 7, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 174

“Ten bucks if you put me on Tik-Tok.”

(by Marc Eliot Stein)

 

My original caption: “Why certainly, my boy, I’ll be glad to share some worldly wisdom with you — if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop calling me ‘Baldy’.”

 

Congratulations, Marc Eliot Stein, on this, your fourth victory. The last one was not that long ago, in Contest No. 170. Once again you have proved to be one of the funniest people around, so the bragging rights are all yours.

Here are the other captions that received my serious consideration:

“Never believe the hype.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“Son, it’s time we had ‘the talk’. Should I text it?” (by Rich Wolf)

“Son, that was an excellent question, next.” (by Diane)

“There, there, grandson, you’re far too young to worry about ‘male pattern baldness!’” (by Kay Ralph)

“Someday all this chaos will be yours!” (by Bruce Morgenstern)

“I’ll clean up your room if you clean up my computer.” (by Pat Foley)

 

Thanks for participating, Captioneers! A new contest will be posted before you know it, so keep a sharp lookout for it.

 

 

See Comments and Add Your Own

Foreword

Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).
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