Category: 2020’s

Yes, it’s another tie! These two strikingly similar captions came in on the very first day of the contest. I didn’t post them until four days later, so nobody, except me, was able to see them for the first three days. Congratulations to Cary Antebi (his thirtieth win — yes, that’s not a mistake, thirtieth! . . . and his last victory was ages ago, in Contest No. 126), and to comparative newcomer David Grand (this is his second win and his first victory was another tie . . . in Contest No. 153).

That Covid-19 bug seems to consistently bring out lots of funny captions. Here are the others that I was seriously considering:

“You realize this beard isn’t a mask, right?” (by John Platt)

“Ho Ho . . . Cough Cough . . . Hack Hack . . . Wheeze Wheeze!” (also by Cary Antebi)

“No, you can’t come visit me in the North Pole!?” (by Kay Ralph)

“Could you put your requests in the mail this year.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“No, you can’t have all the world’s masks.” (by Rich Wolf)

“Please sanitize your chimney, though.” (by Sharon)

“Let’s do this on Zoom next time.” (also by Sharon)

“You’re getting a gift that keeps on giving — a vaccine.” (by Pat Foley)

Nice work, Captioneers. A new Contest will be up before you can say “Pfizer/BioNTech and Moderna immunization vaccination”, so be on the lookout for it.

Contest No. 168 starts right now (it’s another special pandemic contest).

Briefly, here are the details: Usually, I supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. For this contest, I’m supplying a new drawing. You are invited to submit your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment” on the bottom of this posting. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot — please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of the contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 15, 2020. Shortly after that, the winner will be announced and the winning caption will be posted. I will be the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted. Again, for this special contest only, I am not supplying an old, unpublished cartoon of mine, so I do not have any original caption to reveal.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

Wow, this coronavirus is really getting around. A few months ago it was on an almost deserted island, and just before that it was seen on a psychiatrist’s couch. Well, it’s the holiday season, so what better place for it to pop up than on Santa’s lap? What does jolly old St. Nick have to say to his little guest? Well, that’s up to you, captioneers . . .  good luck! And if you do happen to have little babes planning to visit Santa (not at all recommended this year), make sure they’re masked and well protected, because we all have to stay healthy!

               “Stop worrying! I’m just waiting for the next Princess cruise.”

                                           (by Brendan Gannon)

“No, I’m all alone . . . I got separated from all my relatives on the cruise ship, too!”

                                                (by Kay Ralph)

                              “Remember me? From the cruise ship?”

                                                  (by Elliot M)

Yes, the cruise ships have won the day, and it’s a three-way tie! Congrats to Brendan Gannon (a three-time winner), Kay Ralph ( a five-time winner) and Elliot M (a first-timer!). You are definitely three of the funniest people around, so you can bask in the glory — but remember to stay six feet apart, please.

Once again there were lots of good caption submissions. Here are the other ones that were under serious consideration:

“This island isn’t big enough for the two of us.” (by Kelasher)

“Where is your mask?” (by Diane)

“Nice try.” (by Jonathan Stein)

“You’ve been alone for five years! You must be dying for some infection . . . er, I mean affection.” (by Cary Antebi)

“Look on the bright side . . . you don’t have to be quarantined.” (also by Cary Antebi)

“And you thought getting ship wrecked sucked.” (by Ronn Roxx)

“At least contact tracing won’t be necessary.” (by Sharon)

“Have any toilet paper?” (also by Sharon)

“I hope you’ve been taking your hydroxychloroquine.” (by Gary)

“Nice try” everybody (as Jonathan Stein said). A new contest will be posted in just a few short weeks, so keep on the lookout for it. And remember to keep healthy!

Contest No. 160 starts right now (another special pandemic contest).

Briefly, here are the details: Usually, I supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. For this contest, I’m supplying a new drawing. You are invited to submit your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment” on the bottom of this posting. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot — please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of the contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, May 19, 2020. Shortly after that, the winner will be announced and the winning caption will be posted. I will be the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted. Again, for this special contest only, I am not supplying an old cartoon of mine, so I do not have any original caption to reveal.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

Wow, this coronavirus is really getting around. Just a few weeks ago it was seen on a psychiatrist’s couch, and now it’s showing up on an almost deserted island. And it looks like it’s actually communicating! What does it have to say? Well, that’s up to you, captioneers. Good luck . . . and stay healthy!

                  “Why do you think your mom liked Spanish Flu better?”

                                                 (by Kelasher)

Good job, Kelasher, this is your 11th win, and it’s been a long time coming . . . but well deserved. Congrats — once again you are definitely one of the funniest people around.

This contest brought out lots of funny captions, and picking a winner proved to be tough. Frankly, I was almost tempted to call it a tie, but Kelasher’s caption was definitely a standout for me. Here are the other submissions that I was seriously considering:

“So, you’re afraid of going to hospitals because you always feel like the doctors are trying to kill you? Intriguing . . . ” (by Rachel)

“First, you need to move your ass to the other end of the couch! (by Charles Vaughan)

“Have you tried NOT killing people?” (by John Platt)

“Yes, I’m sure the president is very, very sorry he made fun of you on Twitter.” (by Jonathan Stein)

“No mask?” (by Eric Bjorklund)

“In your case only . . . ‘Agoraphobia’ is not a bad thing!” (by Kay Ralph)

“So how long have you been having these dreams of being a pandemic?” (by Cary Antebi)

“I’m sorry, your time is up (I wish).” (also by Cary Antebi)

“Before we start, would you please move six feet away from me.” (also by Cary Antebi)

“So . . . you draw the line at being blamed for the ‘toilet paper’ shortage!” (also by Kay Ralph)

“Maybe a new name would help. How about Hugme69?” (by Ronn Roxx)

“I thought I told you to sit at the far end of my couch.” (also by Ronn Roxx)

“You might want to ease up as the common cold is starting to feel really inadequate.” (also by Ronn Roxx)

“Start at the beginning . . . it appears we’re destined to spend the next fourteen days together.” (also by Kay Ralph)

“Did you use the complimentary hand sanitizer in the waiting room on your spores!” (by Tim Collins)

“Yikes, it’s a good thing you’re an INVISIBLE virus.” (also by Cary Antebi)

A new contest will be posted in a few short weeks, so keep a sharp eye out for it . . . and please keep healthy!

Contest No. 159 starts right now (a little early because of the pandemic).

Briefly, here are the details: Usually, I supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. For this contest only, I’m supplying a new drawing. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment” on the bottom of this posting. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot — please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, April 21, 2020 (it’s a little more than a week, for this contest only). After that, the winner will be announced and the winning caption will be posted. I will be the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted. Again, for this special contest only, I am not supplying an old cartoon of mine, so I do not have any original caption to reveal.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

Wait . . . is that really a coronavirus on a psychiatrist’s couch? Yes, it is. Why it’s there is for you to figure out. Is the virus feeling a little paranoiac, like “the whole world seems to be trying to avoid me”? Has it been complaining because “social distancing seems very anti-social to me”? Or is it simply confused, like “what’s with all the masks and gloves, anyway”? You’re the psychiatrist in this case and I can’t wait to see what you have to say to your patient. Let it all out! Maybe a little humor can help beat this monstrosity.