Category: Cartoons

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 183

“Why does he get a menu and I get a coloring book?”

(by Michael Lomazow)

 

My original caption: “I’ll have the shrimp — and skip the wisecracks.”

 

Congratulations, Michael Lomazow, on your third resounding victory. Yes, there’s no doubt that you’re definitely one of the funniest people around. Keep up the good work!

Glad to see that you Captioneers took up my challenge to at least do better than my original rather obvious caption (see above). I’d say that a few of you succeeded very well. Michael Lomazow’s winning caption brought a great big smile to my face. I dare say that if I had thought of that caption in the 1950’s the cartoon would have been snapped up by one of the Cartoon Editors.

Here are the other submissions that were in the running:

“No, I don’t want the children’s menu.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

“Yes, I said a short stack and a small orange juice. What’s so funny about that?” (by Gayden Wren)

“I’m so hungry I could eat a colt.” (by Pat Foley)

“You’re amused because I worked here as a “short-order cook’?” (by Kay Ralph)

“We’ll see how short I am come tip time.” (by Rich Wolf)

“Stop smirking. I am old enough to order liquor with my meal.” (by Diane)

 

In case anyone is confused about Marc Eliot Stein’s entry, “I say it’s spinach and I say to hell with it.”, I recognized it immediately as a paraphrase of a classic Carl Rose cartoon that appeared in The New Yorker in 1928. The published caption was not Carl Rose’s, by the way — it was written by E. B. White, author of “Stuart Little” and “Charlotte’s Web” and other renowned books. White was on the staff of The New Yorker for decades and was a frequent contributor to the magazine (including helping out some of the cartoonists with their captions). Of course I couldn’t consider Marc’s submission as a serious entry in the Caption Contest.

A new Contest will be posted before you know it. Keep those funny captions coming!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 183

Contest No. 183 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, February 16, 2022.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. This is another oldie – – so old that I didn’t even assign a cartoon number to it. And I see that I finished it off with a brush, so it goes back to a time long ago when I was experimenting with various drawing tools and techniques. Well, of course it never sold, and now that I look at my original caption, I can say that I don’t blame the Cartoon Editors for thoroughly rejecting it. Let’s see if you Captioneers can do any better!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 182

“You’re right, dear, talking to the wall is just as easy.”

(by Rich Wolf)

 

My original caption: “My daughter tells me you’re quite an accomplished magician.”

 

Congratulations, Rich Wolf, on this, your ninth victory. As I’ve told you eight times before, you are definitely one of the funniest people around. Keep up the good work!

As I was looking at this old drawing all week, I suddenly could see why a few of you Captioneers thought along the line of it being set in a department store. It does look like that gal is riding down an escalator, doesn’t it? I guess I should have made it clearer that she is just walking down a normal flight of stairs in a normal home. No misdirection intended — that’s just the way I drew it in the 1950’s. I still like my original caption, by the way — but the proof of the pudding is that no editor thought enough of it to buy the cartoon and publish it.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Take your time. I’m counting the dots.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“Doris, this is one of the best conversations we’ve had in a long time.” (by Paul Cohn)

“I think it’s time we get a TV.” (by Sagie)

“I suppose you’ll want a T.V. next?” (by Pat Foley)

“Sorry hon. Scared off another of your beaus with my army stories.” (by Kelly)

Thanks for participating, Captioneers. Be sure to look for the next Contest, which will start in just a few short weeks.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 182

Contest No. 182 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, January 19, 2022.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. This one goes back to my very earliest days of submitting cartoons to publications, in the mid-1950’s. When I started sending them out, on a free-lance, speculative basis, I numbered the cartoons on the back, to keep track of them. This one has the number 33 on it. I’ve sold thousands of cartoons over the years, each one consecutively numbered, and have thousands more that never sold, so you better believe that this one is a real oldie. Let’s see if you can do any better with it, Captioneers!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 181

“I told you not to use so much starch when you cleaned it last Christmas.”

(by Ronn Roxx)

 

My original caption:  “I remember telling them distinctly, no starch!”

 

Conratulations, Ronn Roxx, on this, your fifth victory (the last one was way back in Contest No. 155). Once again you have proved to be one of the funniest people around.

NOTE: I know that I say in my introductory remarks for each contest that “The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption)”.  But, regardless of the fact that Ronn Roxx practically read my mind about the “starch” gag, I still honestly feel that his caption is the worthy winner.  So I guess that means that I still like my original gag and am a loss to explain why the cartoon was never bought or published. By the way, all the captions that referenced a “coat hanger” were also pretty darn good, but a coat hanger wouldn’t explain the stiff cap, would it?

ANOTHER NOTE: I’d like to give a special shout-out to captioneer Rich Wolf. Recently he was the 3rd Place runner-up  in Bob Mankoff’s Cartoon Caption Contest (the contest that ended on December 6th). Way to go, Rich Wolf — hope to see your name in the winner’s circle soon!

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top prize:

“Idiot, you’ve left the coathanger inside.” (by ken wilkinson)

“Only the hat is perfect for you.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“No, I will not cover you with ornaments and tinsel!” (by David Grand)

“For Pete’s sake, Herbert . . . you’re supposed to take the hanger out!” (by Kay Ralph)

“You’re supposed to take the hanger out first you silly Santa.” (also by Ronn Roxx)

A new Contest will be posted soon. Please look for it and keep those funny captions coming in!

See Comments and Add Your Own

Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 181

Contest No. 181 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, December 22, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Yes, in the spirit of the season I’m going with another “Santa” drawing, hoping fervently that it works out better than the Santa drawing I used for my Contest No. 180.

See Comments and Add Your Own

Foreword

Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).
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