Author: Eli

“Self-driving cars don’t work.”

(by Joe Ayella)

My original caption: “My approval rating dropped 10 percent today.”

Congratulations, Joe Ayella, on your fifth victory, coming very close on the heels of your recent win in Contest No. 237. Once again you have every right to proclaim to the world that you are one of the funniest people around.

By the way, I still get a kick out of my original caption, and I can’t understand why my original cartoon wasn’t snapped up by any publication.

Here are the other submitted captions that almost made it:

“The briefcase you bought me didn’t get a scratch!” (by Lee Lacewell)

“Would you like a ride on my new scooter?” (by Michael Lomazow)

“Huge sale at Victoria’s Secret. I never stood a chance.” (by Scott Malcolm)

“Little Johnie let me borrow his scooter.” (by Silvana Lagrotteria)

“My meeting with the wolf of wall street was not what I was expecting.” (by Sagie)

“I need a place to hide out for a couple of months.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

“Don’t look at social media for a while.” (by Paul Nesja)

Caption Contest No. 242 will start on schedule, Captioneers, so be on the lookout for it. Thanks for participating!

Contest No. 241 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, July 29, 2026.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“Forget ChatGPT, you’ve got DadPhd.”

(by Kelly Nagle)

My original caption: “No, I believe ‘Con man’ is short for ‘Confidence man’,  not ‘Congressman’.”

Congratulations, Kelly Nagle, on your fabulous fifteenth victory. Your wins go way back to Caption Contest No. 2, in February, 2010. You’ve entered captions under several names, including just “Kelly” and also “Kelasher”, but we’ve managed to keep track of you all this time. You must be familiar with the routine, so get out there and shout it to the world — you are definitely one of the funniest people around!

I’m pretty proud of my original caption. Even though my unpublished cartoon goes back a decade or two, it still gets a smile from me whenever I look at it. I think it’s very interesting that, old as it is, it’s still very appropriate.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“For summer, I want you to learn a new word a day. Start with ‘staycation’.” (by Joe Ayella)

“I do have change for a twenty. Show me the twenty first.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“No pay wall . . . I just give a boy on a bicycle a few quarters and I get all the breaking news from yesterday!” (by Lee Lacewell)

“If it’s not about quantum physics, ask your mother.” (by Scott Malcolm)

“What Timmy? Lassie fell down a well?” (by Mark S.)

“It’s time we had ‘the talk’ . . . go ask Mom.” (by Rich Wolf)

“I know we don’t think alike or look alike, but yes, you are my son.” (by Diane Weisman)

“It’s called a newspaper. You’ll learn all about it in history class.” (by Sharon Groth)

Also, a shout-out to Captioneer Joe Ayella, who won First Prize in the latest Cartoon Stock Caption Contest. That’s the way to go, Joe . . . nice work!

Contest No. 241 will be posted in due time, Captioneers, so keep a sharp eye out for it. Thanks for participating!

Contest No. 240 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, July 1, 2026.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“We would like separate checks and separate tables.”

(by Michael Lomazow)

My original caption: “No, we’re not ready to order yet, we’re still going over the footnotes.”

Congratulations once again, Michael Lomazow. It’s your ninth victory — the last one was not that long ago, in Contest No. 234. You know the routine: you are definitely one of the funniest people around and you may shout it to the world.

Here are the captions that almost made it this time around:

“These prices were lower last week — when you didn’t have a French accent.” (by Joe Ayella)

“No, we won’t be ordering for our wives . . . THEY’RE NOT HERE! . . . ARE THEY?” (by Lee Lacewell)

“Would you recommend your tap water?” (by Silvana Lagrotteria)

“You may know me from my work on Yelp.” (by Mark S.)

“I would like two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.” (by Sharon Groth)

“We’re thinking something pretentious and overbearing with just a hint of self-satisfied smugness or maybe a merlot.” (by Paul Nesja)

“We saw today’s news, so we’ll be eating like there’s no tomorrow.” (also by Paul Nesja)

On a personal note, I want to admit that I asked AI to explain what Paul Nesja meant by “going commando” in one of his caption entries. I had never come across that expression before. Thanks for bringing me into the 21st century, Paul.

Contest No. 240 will be posted in due course, and hopefully on time (Contest No. 239 was a day late — my apologies). Keep on the lookout for it, Captioneers. Thanks for your continued input!

Contest No. 239 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Thursday, June 4, 2026.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!