April 2020

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 159

                  "Why do you think your mom liked Spanish Flu better?"

                                                 (by Kelasher)


Good job, Kelasher, this is your 11th win, and it's been a long time coming . . . but well deserved. Congrats -- once again you are definitely one of the funniest people around.


This contest brought out lots of funny captions, and picking a winner proved to be tough. Frankly, I was almost tempted to call it a tie, but Kelasher's caption was definitely a standout for me. Here are the other submissions that I was seriously considering:

"So, you're afraid of going to hospitals because you always feel like the doctors are trying to kill you? Intriguing . . . " (by Rachel)

"First, you need to move your ass to the other end of the couch! (by Charles Vaughan)

"Have you tried NOT killing people?" (by John Platt)

"Yes, I'm sure the president is very, very sorry he made fun of you on Twitter." (by Jonathan Stein)

"No mask?" (by Eric Bjorklund)

"In your case only . . . 'Agoraphobia' is not a bad thing!" (by Kay Ralph)

"So how long have you been having these dreams of being a pandemic?" (by Cary Antebi)

"I'm sorry, your time is up (I wish)." (also by Cary Antebi)

"Before we start, would you please move six feet away from me." (also by Cary Antebi)

"So . . . you draw the line at being blamed for the 'toilet paper' shortage!" (also by Kay Ralph)

"Maybe a new name would help. How about Hugme69?" (by Ronn Roxx)

"I thought I told you to sit at the far end of my couch." (also by Ronn Roxx)

"You might want to ease up as the common cold is starting to feel really inadequate." (also by Ronn Roxx)

"Start at the beginning . . . it appears we're destined to spend the next fourteen days together." (also by Kay Ralph)

"Did you use the complimentary hand sanitizer in the waiting room on your spores!" (by Tim Collins)

"Yikes, it's a good thing you're an INVISIBLE virus." (also by Cary Antebi)


A new contest will be posted in a few short weeks, so keep a sharp eye out for it . . . and please keep healthy!




Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 159

Contest No. 159 starts right now (a little early because of the pandemic).

Briefly, here are the details: Usually, I supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. For this contest only, I'm supplying a new drawing. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment" on the bottom of this posting. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot -- please follow the instructions in the "Captcha" box. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, April 21, 2020 (it's a little more than a week, for this contest only). After that, the winner will be announced and the winning caption will be posted. I will be the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted. Again, for this special contest only, I am not supplying an old cartoon of mine, so I do not have any original caption to reveal.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

Wait . . . is that really a coronavirus on a psychiatrist's couch? Yes, it is. Why it's there is for you to figure out. Is the virus feeling a little paranoiac, like "the whole world seems to be trying to avoid me"? Has it been complaining because "social distancing seems very anti-social to me"? Or is it simply confused, like "what's with all the masks and gloves, anyway"? You're the psychiatrist in this case and I can't wait to see what you have to say to your patient. Let it all out! Maybe a little humor can help beat this monstrosity.

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 158

           "I must warn you, I tend to say 'that's not allowed either', a lot."

                                           (by Tim Collins)



My original caption: "The good news is that my audit shows that you overpaid fourteen thousand dollars in taxes. The bad news is that I'm a notorious practical joker."


Congratulations, Tim Collins, on your fourth win! Once again you have proved to be one of the funniest people around.

There were slim pickings once again this time around. What with everyone in coronavirus isolation, I figured you'd all have plenty of time to dream up some really funny IRS captions. But, for whatever reasons, I was wrong again.

Here are the other entries that were seriously being considered:

"The song was uplifting, Mr. Marshall, however, you have been called here for an 'audit', NOT an 'audition'!" (by Kay Ralph)

"The good news is that you have until July 15th to file your taxes. The bad news is that you've violated the 6-foot social distancing rule and I have to ask you to leave immediately." (by Gary). You sure nailed the "good news . . . bad news" wording that I had used in my original caption so many years ago, Gary. When I first saw your caption, I had an eerie feeling that someone must have been looking over my shoulder.

"Don't be afraid of being audited, but you should be scared stiff of the coronavirus I happen to have." (by Cary Antebi)

"Think of us as a virus minus 'v' and 'u'." (also by Cary Antebi)

All other things being equal, a new contest will appear shortly. Keep on the lookout for it, but most of all, keep healthy!