May 2016

Bought and Paid For, But Never Published. The Wall Street Journal, 1985

Another cartoon of mine that was bought and paid for (by The Wall Street Journal, in 1985), but as far as I can tell, was never printed. The reason is unknown to me. So here's the cartoon -- I still very much like the gag, by the way.

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 101

"I just signed up as a transgender. I don't know what it means, but now I can  

                                     go in the girl's locker room."

                                              (by Cary Antebi)


My original caption: "Wow! We learned all about S-E-K-S today!"


Okay, Cary Antebi, you did it again -- you are a winner for the twenty-third time (my records show that you shared the top prize for nine of those victories, but that still leaves an incredible fourteen undisputed First Places -- quite a distinguished achievement). Once again, you deserve to be hailed as one of the funniest people around. 

There weren't too many captions entered for this contest. What happened? Here are the only other entries that I was considering for top honors:

"With this new ruling, even going to the bathroom is fun!" (by Rich Wolf)

"One day I'm going to make millions from my idea . . . School Backpacks." (also by Cary Antebi)

Contest No. 102 will start in a couple of weeks. I'll see if I can find a more stimulating or thought-provoking drawing for all of you to work on. 

Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 101

Contest No. 101 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, May 24, 2016.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 100

     "You realize dandelions don't respond the same way as actual lions, right?"

                                                 (by John Platt)


My original caption: "Planning to give the crabgrass a real fight this year?"


Whew, John Platt, this is your twelfth big win! Congrats -- once again you have proved to be one of the funniest people around.

Nothing much to say about my original caption, which I guess was pretty obvious. This cartoon and gag was created about forty years ago, when absolutely every suburbanite was fighting crabgrass. You don't hear too much about crabgrass any more. Did we win the battle?

Here are the other entries that I was seriously considering:

"I see you whipped your garden into shape." (by Harvey Appelbaum)

"I see you're declaring war on crab grass." (by Anne Noonan, who came darn close to my original caption, by the way)

"I don't think you realize that you're holding the world's most poisonous snake!!!"  (by Howard Garrett)

"They're hard to train. Call the Lawn Whisperer." (by Cary Antebi)

"Let me guess. Did your wife just read 'Fifty Shades of Gray'?" (by Gary)


Nice work -- thanks for participating. Contest No. 101 will be up in a couple of weeks.