May 2015

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 84

       "And here is the result of our work: We have mathematically proven that 

                                            we need more funding."

                                               (by Jonathan Stein)


My original caption: "Now don't go blabbing this to the tabloids."


Hey, grandson Jonathan, you finally did it -- and nepotism had absolutely nothing to do with my decision. Your caption was the best one submitted, and you can now proudly join the ranks of "one of the funniest people around". It's your very first victory after many years of trying. Congrats!

To be completely honest, I really loved my original caption, "Now don't go blabbing this to the tabloids." I felt that the cartoon was totally New Yorker-worthy. I see by my records that New Yorker Cartoon Editor Bob Mankoff "held" this cartoon when I included it in a batch I brought to him one Tuesday morning many years ago (it was the only gag he held that day -- sometimes he would hold three, four, or even five from my batches). But of course the cartoon never got past the final selection process conducted by the New Yorker Editor-in-Chief. So now I'll just say what Jon Stewart would have said under the same circumstances: "Curse you, David Remnick!". There, I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously "holding":

". . . Looks just about right." (by Harvey Appelbaum)

"As you can see, my calculations have proven that we need a bigger chalkboard." (by Brad Labanowitz)

"You do realize, don't you, that an app already exists for this?" (by Cary Antebi)

"Only you could manage to make Sex Ed. boring." (also by Cary Antebi)

"Oh shoot, I forgot to divide by two. Please tell the President to cancel the missile launch." (by Levi)


Nice work from everybody. Keep a sharp eye out for Contest No. 85 -- it'll be coming up in a couple of weeks.

Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 84

Contest No. 84 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, May 26, 2015.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 83

   "I am proud to introduce John Fafushnick who will discuss Gender Confusion."

                                                 (by Howard Garrett)


My original caption: " . . . a man we deeply respect and admire . . . a man who really needs no further introduction . . . "


No Gender Confusion here -- it's a big fifth win for Mr. Howard Garrett! Congratulations, Howard, once again you can assume the title of "One of the funniest people around".

Some of the other submitted captions that I was considering for top honors:

" . . . and in our newest category, the Equality Awards, the woman who has always been my right hand man . . . " (by Bruce Morgenstern)

"And now I'll bring up Sharon who has the financial report from last month to share with us. Translation: Bathroom break!" (by Brad Labanowitz)

"And now with a very loooong rebuttal, our chairwoman." (by Cary Antebi)

"Our next speaker is here to talk about sexual harassment, which is something that I wish I had known before I asked what she was doing after tonight's meeting." (by John Platt)


I'll be posting a new contest shortly, so keep those inventive, whimsical captions coming in. Thanks.