January 2014

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 62

                                       "I can't wait to see page two."

                                                   (by Dale Stout)


My original caption: "Wow! I've never read such an attention-grabbing opening sentence!"


Congratulations again, Dale Stout -- your short, but sweet, caption worked for me, and you have now captured your fourth win in a very short time (your first win was in Contest No. 54, not that long ago). So once again you regain the title of "one of the funniest people around".

Here are some of the other captions that I was "seriously" considering for top honors:

"Finally, a book that addresses hairstyling for men. I tried like five hair gels just this morning and none were quite right." (by Sharon)

"I was so inspired by your '101 Experiments With Hair Gel' that I tried one myself this morning." (by Levi)

"I have to say, Mr. Smith, you look just a little too straight to be writing for our punk fanzine." (by Kevmob)

"When I suggested to give me a hair-raising ending, I didn't mean it literally!" (by Steve)

"Well, you've definitely written a surprise ending. It's just all these blank pages before it, that concerns me." (by Cary Antebi)

"I believe you misunderstood me when I asked you to 'flesh it out'." (by Bill Mac)

Getting back to my original caption (which I have to admit I still like very much), the attention-grabbing opening sentence of my forthcoming novel will probably be something like this: "It was on a dark and stormy night, during the best of times and the worst of times, that I, Ishmael, acknowledged a universal truth -- that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

A new Contest will be up before you know it. Keep a sharp lookout for it.



Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 62

Contest No. 62 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, January 28, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No.61

                        "We're all fired . . . Amazon bought the library."

                                           (by Andrew Bramley)


My original caption: "No, I can't possibly talk to you now -- I've got a Reference call on hold, for God's sake!"


Congrats, Andrew Bramley -- you obviously know what creates panic in librarians these days, and you deserve to be regarded as one of the funniest people around!

I admit that my original caption was rather condescending, but please remember that it was created three or four decades ago, when librarians didn't have to concern themselves with all the new-fangled technology.

Here are the other captions that made it to the final table, but for various reasons didn't make it all the way:

"Harriet, they're removing the book shelves to make room for a Starbucks." (by Anonymous . . . but I think it's Cary Antebi)

"So, were you going to be reading that on an iPad, or a Kindle, or an Nook, or a Kobo, or a Galaxy Tab, or a . . . ?" (by robert)

"How many three-year-olds are you bringing to story time?" (by kelasher . . . and I admit this has got to be about 8 or 9 on a librarian "panic scale")

On a final note, I was puzzling over this last-minute caption by Anonymous (Cary Antebi again???): "911? . . . I just get anyone to shhh!". I suddenly realized that it would probably have been a winner with a one-word change. If it had been submitted as "911? . . . I can't get anyone to shhh!", it would have been a very strong contender.

Don't despair, folks -- a new contest will be up before you know it.