January 2012

Boardroom Lists, February 1984


This is one of the rare times I shared a byline. I didn't know very much about the jargon or inner workings of the direct mail business, so Boardroom editor Brian Kurtz occasionally suggested the gag situation, and supplied the words, too. Whenever I felt his contribution was major, I added + KURTZ to the signature.

Boardroom Lists, June 1984


Yes, this must have been close to the time when the post office introduced the zip + four code. It never really caught on, did it?

Selling Power, March 2000


Another example of our forgetful editors. This exact same cartoon was printed in Selling Power in June 1998.

Boardroom Lists, November 1983

bdrm1183.jpg This was published by Brian Kurtz in his Boardroom Lists newsletter in November 1983. You can see my original posting about Boardroom Lists here. The interesting thing about this particular cartoon is that Brian told me he liked it so much that he wanted to make a poster out of it. I told him it sounded like a great idea. The next thing I knew he published this 17" x 22" poster . . . drawn by the renowned New Yorker cartoonist Charles Barsotti! bdrmbarsottiposter.jpg I was quite taken aback and I never got a good explanation from Brian as to why he chose to ask Barsotti to re-draw my gag, instead of just blowing up my cartoon (which he had already published months before). I guess I can't fault Brian for going with a famous New Yorker cartoonist (Barsotti), instead of an almost no-name cartoonist (me). Anyway, I did eventually get my chance at a poster, too. For the opening of the 1986 baseball season, I drew a special cartoon for Boardroom Lists, and it was published (size 17" x 22", on beige poster stock paper) in May 1986. You can see it directly below.

Boardroom Lists, May 1986

bdrmbaseballposter.jpg This was published as a 17" x 22" poster (see story directly above).

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 32

captioncontest321.jpg "Excuse me. Is he part of this new occupy sidewalk movement?" (by Frank)

My original caption: "Let me through. I've read 'First Aid for Dummies'."

Congratulations, Frank -- this is your second win, so now you can really bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.

My comments on this batch of captions? Well, of course I'm prejudiced, but I honestly believe that MY original caption is funnier than the whole lot of them. And . . . surprise, surprise . . . it doesn't involve lawyers, lawsuits or ambulance chasers! But then again, my original was never bought by any publication, so there must have been something basically wrong with it.

Some of the other captions I was considering for top prize:

"Hey, is that you Bob? What brings you here today?" (by John Platt)

"Get that man a tourniquet, pillow and a personal injury claim form." (by Cary Antebi)

"Dibs on the lawsuit!" (by Kelasher)

OK, let's see what you can come up with for the next caption challenge. The new contest will be posted soon, so get ready to think outside of the box!

Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 32

Cartoon Caption Contest No. 32 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on 'COMMENTS' directly underneath the current drawing. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security word that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click 'Submit'. There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, January 10, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

And here's the drawing that needs your funny captions: captioncontest32.jpg