June 2010

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 8

First of all, I now realize that I've painted myself into a corner with this contest. Every time I pick a winner, I make new enemies or, at the very least, lose a lot of good will. That's because all of you who participate are so positive that your caption is so much better than the winning caption, and let me know as much! I don't quite know how to solve this problem.

That being said, here's the winning caption:


"These web startup company names are really getting ridiculous."

My original caption:

"I guess you could say he's sort of a crackpot's crackpot."

So congratulations, Caryn -- you are now officially one of the funniest people around.

I really liked the topical originality of Caryn's caption. Other entries that came close: Kelasher's "polly wolly doodle all the day", Frank's "a song you can understand" and Ed Smith's "Horace Heidt" and "the Andrews Sisters" (make up your mind, Ed -- who recorded it?).

To the rest of you -- please keep trying! New contest coming up shortly.

Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 8

Cartoon Caption Contest No. 8 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details:

I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on 'Comments' underneath the current drawing. Then (2) scroll down past all the other comments and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security word that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click 'Submit'. There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week for each contest, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions is midnight, Tuesday June 29th. I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here. New contests will appear at very irregular intervals in the future.

Here's the new drawing. Kids -- if you don't know what this is all about, ask your parents . . . or your grandparents. Everybody -- give it your best shot, and good luck!


Woman's World, February 23, 1988


Well, those were all good computer-language buzzwords in 1988. Frankly, I can't imagine what the kid would be telling his mother these days.

Vegetarian Times, July 1987


This cartoon was originally published in The Wall Street Journal on March 28, 1980, and was picked up as a reprint by Vegetarian Times.

Florida Bar Journal, July/August 1995


A gag slanted obviously for my "legal" publications, and picked up by the Florida Bar Journal.

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 7

So many great captions, so difficult to choose just one. Here it is:


"So, am I kwazy?"

Congratulations, Kelasher! You're the funniest person around -- for the third time!

My original caption: "Exactly where did you get your degree?"

As I said, I considered my original caption (from about 35 years ago) to be pretty lame. But while you were all thinking up your captions, I played along and came up with these two new captions that I definitely consider prize-worthy:

1) "Tell me more about the Esperanto School of Medicine."

2) "Oh . . . I didn't realize you were home-schooled."

I know I can't declare myself the winner, but I really like both of them. What do you think?

So many great captions, but only one could win. Sorry it couldn't be yours.

Don't despair -- new contest will be up in a few weeks.

Back again

O.K., I'm back, and lots of new captions have been posted. Contest No. 7 isn't over until midnight Tuesday, June 8th, so there's still plenty of time to come up with innovative stuff.

What a shame that I can't win this contest myself -- while I was away I came up with two great captions, both on topics that haven't yet been covered by anyone else. I'll tell them to you when I declare the winner.