February 2010

National Business Employment Weekly, January 24, 1993


Yes, I admit it, I think this has got to be one of my top five best cartoons ever. I love everything about it. Simple drawing, cleverly-worded caption and, when you finally get to the door, downright funny. Why The New Yorker ever rejected it is beyond me.

(Just to bring this into historical context -- in 1993, when this was printed, the U.S. was in the midst of a major unemployment crisis. It was before the age of computer job searches, and laid-off workers were sending out tons of resumes. But corporations were not yet in a hiring mode, and the resumes were mostly being ignored.)

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 3

You think it's easy being a judge? Where are Simon Cowell and Ellen DeGeneres when you really need them?

I know that all of you honestly feel that your particular entry should win, but please remember that, deserving as all of your captions were, there can only be one top dog. Here it is:


"Tuna fish . . . again?"

My original caption:

"Why can't you just open a can of tuna fish, like other wives do?"

So congratulations, Levi! You're the winner of Contest No. 3, which makes you the funniest guy around . . . for now, anyway.

I was delighted that nobody went with the old "I had it for lunch" shtick -- that shows that you all have very good taste. I was surprised that nobody brought Martha Stewart or Rachael Ray into the mix, although one caption brought up Julia Child (from Kelasher). I was also impressed by the reference to sweat bands that appeared in another caption (from Keith Brown). Those were supposed to be edible, decorative strips of garnish, Keith, but they do look like sweat bands, don't they?

Thanks to all of you who participated.

Contest No. 4 will start in a few weeks.

Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 3

Contest No. 3 starts right now. Click here for full rules and regulations, but briefly, here they are:

I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on 'Comments' underneath the current drawing. Then (2) scroll down past all the other comments and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security word that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click 'Submit'. There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week for each contest, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

New contests will appear at very irregular intervals in the future.

Hope you all have fun with this one!

Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 3


National Review (West), May 20, 1996


Don't you just love it when, at Olympics time, everything is touted as being "The Official (product category) of the (year) Olympic games"?

For some reason this was published only in the Western edition of National Review, and not in the full edition, as far as I know.

Super Service Station, March 1981


This is exactly the same cartoon and drawing that I posted for The National Enquirer for April 28, 1981. What happened was that it appeared here first and then a month later The Enquirer, on their own, picked it up from Super Service Station Magazine and reprinted it. Of course, The Enquirer paid me their generous full price for it, as if it was an original.

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No.2

Was this a tough one for you gagwriters/caption creators? Apparently so.

It was a tough one to judge, also, so I'm going to cop out once again and declare two winners. Here they are:


1) "It stands for Housewives Against Nincompoop Demonstrators."

2) "What's an acronym?"

My original caption:

"I'm not protesting anything. It stands for Have A Nice Day."

Congratulations to Ed Smith (1) and Kelasher (2). I thought that both of their captions were imaginative and funny, in different ways. Ed Smith's caption reminded me of another version of this cartoon that I drew a long time ago (that was also never published). The sign, held by an angry man, had just the word "SODA" on it. My caption was, "It stands for Stamp Out Dumb Acronyms."

It's good to see that one contestant correctly figured out that HAND stood for "Have A Nice Day". And I also greatly appreciated "Wait, we're not at a name-your-favorite-body-part convention?" (from Rachel).

Aside: Once again, I played along with all of you and tried to think up a brand new caption for my drawing. And again, I think I came up with a pretty good one: "I'll tell you what HAND stands for, if you'll tell me what PRESS stands for."

Now if anybody had submitted that caption, it clearly would have been a winner!

I promise that Caption Contest No. 3, coming in a few weeks, will be much easier. I have the drawing picked out, and it should be a lot of fun.