“We’re just waiting for my nurse to staple two tape measures together.”
(by Scott Malcolm)
My original caption: “You’re like a living error message.”
Congratulations, Scott Malcolm, on your third victory, coming close on the heels of your wins in Contests No. 238 and 230. It’s celebration time, so get out that megaphone and shout it to the world — you’re definitely one of the funniest people around!
(I still like my original caption, by the way, and to me it’s still applicable and funny, after all these years.)
Here are the “runners-up”:
“Read my lips . . . EXERCISE . . . not extra fries!” (by Lee Lacewell)
“There’s a reason I ask all my patients to wear a gown.” (by Joe Ayella)
“Unfortunately, having someone there to drive you home after the procedure will probably not be necessary.” (by Michael Iomazow). (Sorry I’ve been calling you Michael Lomazow all these years, Michael — I just woke up and realized that that’s a capital I in your last name, not a lower case L — mea culpa)
“Either lose 40 pounds or get three inches taller. Your choice.” (by Mark S.)
“Stay off the couch and potatoes.” (by Pat Foley)
“It’s Take Your Kids to Work Day. Would you mind if my kids observed your colonoscopy?” (by Mark Miler)
“You didn’t need to undress. You’re here to change a light bulb.” (by Sylvana Lagrotteria)
“That’s not a UFO on your head, it’s your living room lamp stuck in your trousers.” (by Ken Wilkinson)
Speaking of runners-up, Captioneer Joe Ayella was an in-the-money runner-up in the latest Cartoon Stock caption contest. Nice work, Joe!
Contest No. 244 will be coming up in this space before you know it, Captioneers. Looking forward to your funny entries — thanks for participating!
4 Comments
Thank you Eli for selecting my caption.
You mentioned that Joe Ayella was a runner-up in the CartoonStock caption contest.
Do you enter this contest?
I ask because I am a Moderator on the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest Rejects (and Enthusiasts) facebook group. I am responsible for listing and undating this site regarding the CartoonStock caption contest .
My thanks go out to you, Scott, for joining in the fun of my caption contest.
To answer your question, I believe that I submitted a caption to The New Yorker when they first started their contest, oh so many years ago. To no avail, of course. I never entered Bob Mankoff’s Cartoon Stock contest (probably because I was too busy visiting him in his New Yorker office once a week, on Lookday, trying to convince him or his boss, David Remnick, to OK any of my cartoons for the magazine).
It be interesting if you entered and won the CartoonStock caption contest. Bob would have picked your submission.
No, at this point I really doubt that he would ever declare a caption submission from me to be a winner. As a matter of fact, according to my records, Mankoff had the opportunity to hold this particular cartoon, as he held many of my cartoons for his Art meeting with Remnick, but he didn’t even hold it for consideration — it was an immediate reject.