Contest No. 238 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, May 6, 2026.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.
Okay, it’s time for another “golden oldie” cartoon. This one goes back a looooong time. My rubber-stamped address on the back of this cartoon is that of one of my family’s apartments in Brooklyn (we moved around a little bit, trying to stay one step ahead of the rent collector). So, doing the math, I figure I was trying to peddle this one in the late 1940’s or early 1950’s. I still think my original caption is pretty good, but the cartoon never sold anywhere. Hope you Captioneers can come up with a funnier caption than I did. Good luck!
72 Comments
Don’t worry, you could be Rocky Marciano’s first loss.
He should worry, Rocky Marciano never lost a fight.
“Maybe we can trick people if we call him ‘Rocking Marciano’?”
“Float like a butterfly, sting like a grampy?”
“He has no idea where he is—and that’s before one punch.”
“Wheaties has anyone who eats their cereal thinking they can be champ.”
“Vegas likes the odds of his very motivated opponent—his mother-in-law.”
“The Stumble in the Jungle.”
“Scorsese is finally making the sequel–AGING BULL.”
“He usually starts with the ‘Ole One Two’ then his opponent gives him ‘Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine’!”
“The rocking chair is actually an improvement; last week he had a roll-away bed in his corner!”
“Last week he used a roll-away bed!”
“Antique rocker, Alta Cocker.”
“His career stats are 10 wins, 20 loses and 30 disqualified for sleeping in his corner.”
“He used to be a has been.”
“I don’t have to worry anymore about him having sex before fights!”
“His first official fight, but he’s done lots of sparring with his wife.”
“He coulda been somebody, he coulda been a contender—instead of a retired accountant from Hoboken.”
“I tried giving him two blue pills before fights, but then he stood up between rounds.”
His opponent said he was gonna “knock him off his rocker!”
“He thinks he’s the Heavyweight Champion—and he’s not off his rocker.”
“Remember the ‘Bum of the Month Club’? He just won Bum of the YEAR.”
“Remember, in this age group ‘no hitting below the belt’ means punches below the armpits are forbidden!”
I guess with the success of shows like “Golden Bachelor,” this “Golden Boxer” reality show could be a real knockout!
“His fans say he rocks but his opponents think he’s off his rockers!”
“Last time he took a dive he broke his hip!”
“I love geriatric fight night.”
“The WBC banned La-z-boys.”
“It’s not often the son is cornerman.”
“I love promoting Rockin-Sockem Boxing?”
“It’s great when they hear ‘Hit the Mat’, then lie down for a nap.”
“He’s on Rocky ground.”
“In the next bout, does your grandma have a chance?”
“I’m surprised the nursing home let him out.”
“When you’re punch drunk, a rocker helps control the bed spins.”
“The cornerman keeps reminding him, he’s the fighter.”
“He said he often dreamed of becoming the ‘President of the United States’. I told him . . .’You’re only 76 you still have time’!”
“He doesn’t have to worry about getting his teeth knocked out . . . they’re in a jar in his dressing room.”
“Sometimes his manager throws in the towel before the first round starts!”
“Last week a scantily clad ‘First Round Card Girl’ knocked him out just by walking past him!”
“His gloves are in perfect condition. He’s never hit anybody.”
“At one point, he was off his rocker.”
“Once he has lured his opponent into a sense of false security he pounces and it’s ‘POW, POW, POW’ . . . the end!”
“I swear, all I said to him was; ‘Phil your challenger is younger than you, so you gotta rock the guy’!”
“He’s old stool.”
Now we know how Rocky Marciano got his name.
“Why not, he fights like an old man.”
“His new name is Phil (The Rocker)
Bambini!”
“The ‘one last fight’ trope may be a clever move.”
“There’s Rope-a-Dope, and then there’s his version: Rock-a-Dope.”
“He doesn’t have what they call an ‘orthodox stance’.”
“Technically, he’s got the home advantage—the nursing home advantage.”
“He’s got a terrific one-two punch, and an even better three-four kick.”
“They don’t call him Rocky for nothing.”
“He’s managed by his grandmother.”
“He’s checking his pulse—I’d turn away when he checks his temperature.”
“I shelled out 200 bucks to see Kid Rock, not this Kid Rocking.”
“This is his first fight out of retirement.”
“His best punch is a love tap.”
“That guy’s got heart. Unfortunately it’s someone else’s.”
“It’s a grudge match. The other guy walked on his lawn.”
“I fear he is close to being off his rocker.”
“We’re calling it a strategic retirement between rounds.”
“He’s hoping to win by unanimous concern.”
“He rocked him with that last left.”
“He’s both a cornerman and a coronerman.”
Every Sunday I take Dad to Rocking Chair Boxing.
These annual salary negotiations get harder every year.
If he’s not fit he should quit.
“He’s survived sky diving and mountain climbing—what’s next on your mom’s list?”
“Gramp’s shorts, like usual, are pulled up to his chest.”
“This could get bloody. Good thing it’s the 1940s or 1950s so color television hasn’t been invented yet.”