Contest No. 234 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, January 14, 2026.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
65 Comments
What do you have to say for yourself?
“I`d send some begging letters to our friends but we can`t afford the postage.
“Paying on time is not the most important consideration.”
“What the hell is the spouse fund?”
OMG why did you spend so much money on vintage items?
“We’ll definitely be in the black by tomorrow. I forgot to pay the electric bill again.”
“Did you agree to join a dating-app for bored housewives?”
“Who told you that a mutual fund in your name only automatically includes your husband?”
“Forget University — our daughter should become a plumber.”
“My hair care bills are a lot lower than yours.”
“Life gets more expensive the prettier you are.”
“When you did the bills, I wasn’t so depressed.”
“I liked your hair more when you styled it.”
“Let’s go to your parents for dinner.”
“Do we really need water?”
“Can I claim myself as a dependent?”
“Do you remember if I used Master-Card or Visa to pay the American Express bill last month?”
“I figured out when I turn 104 we will be debt free and you’ll only be 99!”
“If we’re going to get ahead we’ll have to reduce the number of bills we pay each month!”
“Honey it’s 2026, let’s switch to electronic non-payment.”
“Can I just stand in the corner?”
“Isn’t it your turn?”
“It’s One Big Ugly Bill after another.”
“We need to tighten our belts — and your pocketbook and purse.”
“Why are they called ‘bills’ — when they’re all ‘Diane’s’?”
“I’m going to the shooting range — and I’m taking all your credit cards with me.”
“We’re skipping Christmas next year.”
“These should be called “kills” instead.”
“Our best options: declaring bankruptcy or becoming fugitives.”
“I thought we were on the road to financial freedom but recent purchases seem to have us headed into oncoming traffic!”
“Get ready to clap for each bill I pay.”
“Besides reading, you’re quite good at doing other things behind my back.”
“All you do is shop — but you never drop.”
“Oh, the amenities!”
“We are now the proud owners of a poor house.”
“We’re broke and you can take that to the bank.”
“There really is an ‘affordability’ crisis — I can’t afford you!”
“We’re in the hole which is par for the course.”
“Our only hope is that money DOES grow on trees.”
“Read more so I can write less — and the arithmetic adds up.”
“Money’s tight — why don’t you apply to be a Professional Shopper?”
“Billy’s college tuition is way up — maybe he can transfer to Hard Knocks U.”
“But you knew I was a cheapskate when we got married — that’s why the wedding was at a 99 Cents Only store.”
“When we finally pay our home off I’ll be 103 but you’ll only be 99!”
“I need to borrow your Mastercard to pay my Visa bill this month dear!”
I’d stop complaining, if you would stop spending.
“Honey, we’re not just living high on the hog, we just went above the hog!”
“Our golden years are looking more like bronze.”
“Retirement is an option — if an occasional bank robbery is also an option.”
“Have you come to chapter 11 yet?”
“Anyone that says we live in a free country is obviously not the one paying the monthly household bills!”
“For the last time! Buying five items at twenty percent off does not mean you save one-hundred percent!”
“No matter what Marge says, buying five items at twenty percent off does not make them free!”
“Is there a 12 step program for spending?”
“The light at the end of the tunnel will shine brighter when the electricity gets cut off!”
“I’ll stop complaining about your shopping habits when you stop reminding me how many times the electricity has been cut off since I took over paying the bills!”
“Paying bills on time somehow just doesn’t seem American these days!”
“Our electricity has only been cut off three times since I took over paying the bills. My running over the electrical transformer box at the end of our driveway on New Year’s Eve doesn’t count.”
“I’ve always wondered what it means when when someone says; ‘you need to sharpen your pencil really well before filing taxes or paying bills’?”
“I know I promised, but I gotta take that job as a Go-Go dancer.”
“Our windfall was just another tree branch.”
“Who takes their wedding vows seriously? For richer or poorer doesn’t mean your spouse has Carte Blanche to spend wildly.”
“Pretty, pretty please!”
“I just bought Greenland.”
“Why can’t you just admit that Victoria Secret is your bill?”