Contest No. 233 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, December 17, 2025.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
69 Comments
“Sorry dear, these are the leftovers from the leftovers. Enjoy.”
“Stop making faces, I never told you I can cook.”
“Remember when we could afford to eat here often.”
“My mother will be here for only a few days.”
“Enlarging our dining room is hardly the same as building a ballroom.”
“I never promised you a rose garden.”
“I love you, honey, but not enough to cook from scratch.”
“I’m only cooking leftovers to better savor our next meal out.”
“Save room for dessert with a side of guilt.”
“Devouring those leftovers without complaint only confirms your affair.”
“I ran the numbers: we can afford to remodel the kitchen or get a divorce.”
“They weren’t kidding – that new dog food looks just like ours.”
“I was very impressed with the way you sniffed the box when the waiter brought the wine for approval!”
“I thought getting you to take your medicine would be harder.”
“I tried the recipe your ex-wife mailed me.”
“It was already freezer burned so I just added some seasoning.”
“I was able to cut away most of the green stuff.”
“Remember those eggs I thought I lost last month?”
“I used the cake mix from my Easy Bake Oven.”
“The internet says the Best Before date is fake news.”
“Let me tell you about my day — then you can have 30 seconds in rebuttal.”
“You light up my life.”
“Tell me again about how you almost got away with it.”
“Ever notice how quiet it is when all the neighbors go out to eat?”
“I put a complaint box next to the list of area restaurants.”
“FYI, the pandemic is over — we can go to restaurants again.”
“Great restaurant choice Mr. Bugsy, Icepick, Scarface, Pimpster, Sweet Cheeks, Malone.”
“Let’s dine and dash for old times’ sake.”
“When you’re chewing your salad you look like the little ‘Chubby Cheeked Squirrel’ outside the window.”
“Please tilt your head so I can check my makeup in the reflection on the top of your head!”
“I didn’t have paprika so I used chili powder.”
“And the meatballs are made from kale.”
“Didn’t your mother teach you it’s rude to have your mouth full when someone’s speaking?”
“I wanted to cook for you today, to show how much I love you.”
“What’s wrong? The dog liked it.”
“I usually ask for a doggie bag but the way you’re wolfing everything down I don’t think there’ll be anything left!”
“This meal was inspired by that Hitchcock episode where the wife poisons her husband’s dinner and gets away with it.”
“Why did you say this is where we ate on our first date? I’ve never been here before!”
“Is it cold? It’s called ‘revenge’ – for flirting with your secretary.”
“This might be bad timing, but I want a divorce.”
“I’m not sure why you are upset. You said ‘you are what you eat’ and I simply agreed when I said ‘you’re chopped liver’!”
“Does your wife have dark auburn hair, drive a red Honda SUV, and sometimes walks into restaurants carrying a pump shotgun?”
“I don’t need lots of compliments, but a grunt of approval would be nice.”
“Stop making faces, it’s your mother’s recipe.”
“I think my cooking has improved. You’ve only needed your stomach pumped one time this month.”
“I’m not sure if the worn recipe I used was for my Mom’s green bean casserole or my Dad’s home-made paint stripper!”
“I booked you on Blue Origin, Elon Musk’s spaceship. I hear they have almost all the kinks worked out.”
“I think we should eat with other people.”
“I know about your affair with your secretary — but it’s okay because I’m having an affair with your boss.”
“Uber Eats was a fling and Grubhub an affair, but DoorDash is true love.”
“Marge from next door is going on vacation and wants to know if we would watch her husband while she’s gone.”
“I booked you a seat on Musk’s spaceship. They have almost all the kinks worked out.”
“Have I made the curry too hot dear? Your toupee just flew out the window.”
“It may taste funny and I upped your life insurance.”
“Keep eating, it’s an acquired taste.”
“My first two husbands died from eating bad spinach. My third husband died from a heart attack after a big row about his refusing to eat spinach.”
“Yeah, well, my first husband didn’t like the taste of arsenic either.”
“I put a sawbuck on the Knicks today.”
Honey, please don’t talk with food in your mouth.
TV dinners taste so much better on fine china.
Today I’m trying a new “vegan” recipe.
“Your boss stopped by for lunch. We had a great time exchanging stories.”
“Since we started eating together, I’ve lost 12 pounds.”
“It’s the chewy variety of mashed potatoes.”
“Do you remember when my father (Judge Harris) said you had the choice to marry me or spend twenty years in jail? . . . You would have been getting out of jail tomorrow!”
“Don’t tell me you cracked another tooth?”
“… So as I was standing there staring at the ceiling the thought just pops into my head, why do we add breadcrumbs for crunch and then cook the pasta? Instead we can use the pasta for crunch and I can use the time I save to help with this other idea I had about the tomato sauce …”
“Mary Ellen figured out the President’s method for calculating percentages. She says we saved twelve thousand percent shopping today and made a profit of over thirty-eight thousand dollars!”
“Do I love you? I suppose I do, but I love your friend Ethan too.”