Contest No. 231 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, October 22, 2025.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
60 Comments
“Tell anyone who calls that he’s out to launch.”
“Where’s he going? There’s no ship to launch!”
“Ok Mildred, you can put the ‘OUT TO LAUNCH’ sign on the door.”
Your ship has already left.
Sir, I’m afraid your ship has sailed.
“He thinks he’s hot stuff because he bought a row boat.”
“If you’ll excuse me I have a date with the ship’s figurehead.”
I think he’s going to try to christen something other than a ship!
“This is his third early launch this week!”
“I’m not saying business is bad, but lately he goes out for a three martini lunch then comes back and spends the rest of the day trying to figure out how to build a tiny ship in the empty bottle.”
“He named his boat ‘Short Stuff’. Enough said.”
“He just collects champagne samples.”
“That better not be the champagne you bought for our anniversary.”
“How about setting aside a day to Christen our child?”
“Maybe she would like some flowers or a box of chocolates.”
“Try not to put a hole is this one.”
Where are you going? We don’t launch until Friday.”
“Business is slow so to keep up appearances he has a Christening Ceremony when any of his friends trade cars.”
“You said that was for your anniversary!”
“You have to buy the boat first!”
“That was a gift from my husband!”
“You bought jet skis Bob!”
“He carries a champagne bottle around so investers will think he’s always headed to a new Ship Christening.”
“Don’t make me use Brute force on you!”
“Wait a minute! Didn’t you just buy a new boat?!”
“You won’t get ‘aweigh’ with that!”
“It’s the first time he’s actually seeing the ship in person.”
“Stop! That’s women’s work!”
“That’s a ‘hullava’ a thing for you to do!”
ABC Rowboat Inc. is two doors to the left!
“I sure hope that’s the cheap stuff?”
“You better be going out for chocolate covered strawberries.”
“A two-martini lunch wasn’t enough?”
“Did you need a designated navigator?”
“He belongs at the company where you change the ‘P’ to a ‘T’.”
“He just bought a rubber boat for his bathtub.”
“There goes the very Sinkable Ollie Brown.”
“ABC is where he works—AA is where he belongs.”
“That looks way too fishy.”
“His sip has come in.”
“Something tells me this isn’t his maiden voyage.”
“Smell of alcohol when you return and your pay will be docked!”
“Nothing sadder than the sight of a man licking the side of a boat.”
“He’s cornering the market by merging with XYZ.”
“We build—he smashes and swills.”
“That’s HMS Boozy Bob off on his fifth maiden voyage this week.”
Hey! Are you DEF?
“He doesn’t actually smash it – he just gets smashed.”
He’s walking like the bottle is already empty.
On the way to another Ship, Captain, Crew game.
“Somebody wants his dinghy.”
“Who’s he kidding? He works in the shipping DEPARTMENT!”
“The Temp Agency sent him to the Wine Distributor downstairs so when he showed up here by mistake I gave him a bottle of Champagne and told him his job was to bring me drinks and give me backrubs four times a day.”
“His first day I ask him to bring me two sheets of copy paper and he said ‘speaking of two sheets when is the office Christmas party’?”
“Why am I the bad guy when I throw a bottle?”
“I ask if he got into this business because his wife is always so ship-shape and he said no it’s because she’s always been shaped like a ship.”
“He retires next month—I can’t wait to send him off with my magnum!”
“That’s the CEO—he’s permanently out to sea.”
“That’s Harvey—he likes to bang walls and ships.”
“Some days he comes back in singing 99 bottles of burgandy on the wall!”