Contest No. 227 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, July 2, 2025.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
62 Comments
“Miss O’Leary, do you have a minute to show me how to reduce the intensity level of my new vibrating massage chair?”
“Miss Smith, did you make the coffee with your triple caffeine high-energy H2O drink again?”
“Miss Valdez, did you make the coffee this morning with your ‘special blend’ from home again?”
“This quarter’s sales figures are shocking . . . absolutely shocking I tell you!”
“My phone will only vibrate, my massage chair is stuck on high intensity, and we’re having aftershocks from last night’s earthquake. Is it 5:00 O’clock yet?”
“Is it 5:00 O’clock yet?”
“How many FBI Agents are waiting to see me?”
“That feels good!”
I’m getting a “bad vibration”.
“I’m a little nervous today.”
A single no to my proposal would have sufficed.
“Misss Uptonnn, don’t let that phone guy llleave the buildinggg!”
“Kim, tell the IRS I’ve fled the country, but make it sound legal.”
“Miss Hathaway, can you please take the office off of ‘vibrate’ mode?”
“Let the coffee boy know we appreciate his zeal but no longer require his services.”
“Dawn, is this a real earthquake alarm or just an earthquake drill?”
MMMiiisssss. JJJoooonnneeeesss…..HHHHHeeeelllpppp
“What do you mean ‘The board has met and made a decision?’ I’m the chairman of the board.”
“On second thought, hold the coffee.”
“It appears my phone is still on ‘vibrate’.”
“Does anyone else feel shaky after eating that two-week-old tuna?”
“Susie, I’m quaking again. Could you bring me my boots?”
“Tell IT I can’t turn off ‘vibrate’ mode—not my phone, me!”
“For the last time, I’m not stressed . . . I don’t have time to be stressed!”
“Miss Ryan, would you come in and record my ‘Out of Office’ message. My voice is a little shaky?”
“Miss Ryan, is an earthquake occurring or am I just that scared of this stupid machine?”
“Who ever put this vibrating chair in my office, thank you.”
“Miss Jenkins, who ordered a massaging chair from the Sharper Image?”
“My Psychiatrist says getting the newest smart phone release and the withdrawal from the previous release caused me to develop ‘Restless Communication Anxiety Syndrome’.”
I get this feeling you are not happy with my proposal.
“Sir, are you saying the entire office is on shaky ground—or just me?”
“Stop the searching, Mrs. May. I`ve found out where I left the whoopee cushion.”
“Sally, come quick. It’s important, maybe even seismic.”
“Make my next cup decaf.”
“No, I don’t wish to speak with 60 Minutes!”
“Please ask IT to respond ASAP.”
“Sit, shake. They treat me like a dog.”
Helen, I need you to hold my calls. And me.
Piper, perhaps it was a bad idea to buy office chairs off Craigslist after all.
Wait what? My wife and ex-wife are both here together.
“Change the call-waiting music. No more ‘All Shook Up,’ thank you!”
“Unlike James Bond, I prefer to be stirred, not shaken!”
“I’m confused– I thought last quarter’s numbers were no great shakes.”
“I’m not here if the auditor calls, a cop wants to ask a few questions, or the DA serves a subpoena.”
“Call my wife. I mixed up our medications again.”
“I do believe my shock therapy is working.”
“Please make a call to the Physio room. Tell them to get rid of the vibrating belt machine.”
“Ms. Jones, is it April Fools day?”
“Call Doctor Spanos and tell him my ‘Restless Legs Syndrome’ is spreading!”
“My Mother-In-Law left a message saying she’s arriving today to spend the Summer with us?”
“T-t-t-tariffs.”
“I think I felt it move.”
“Electroconvulsive therapy makes me feel shockingly good.”
“I finally have actual audio proof of the ghost in my office, call the priest.”
“Miss Payne . . . is this electric vibrating foot massager you gave me at Christmas supposed to make my teeth rattle?”
Now I finally understand the song by Elvis — we’re gonna shake, rattle and roll.
“Miss Rogers, we need to discuss your recent performance. Your continued employment with this compaaaaaaaaaah . . . !”
“HELP ME MISS WIGGS, I think I mixed up the cards on my wife’s and my girlfriend’s flower deliveries again!”
“Janet, I’m getting that buzzing in my ears again…wait a minute…”
“Lucifer???!!!”
“Quick! What’s today’s buzzword?”
“Call that HVAC company back before I freeze to death.”