Contest No. 221 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, January 15, 2025.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
67 Comments
“I stand before you a lawyer who has no idea of what I am doing or saying. Good luck.”
“The only thing my client is guilty of is being innocent!”
“The law is an ass — so don’t add yours too.”
“Give me liberty or give me death! But my client would prefer liberty.”
“If my finger points, you won’t disappoint!”
“As you deliberate, don’t forget that my client knows what you all look like.”
“A verdict of ‘innocent’ and happy hour is on me.”
“I get paid a daily rate so figure I will be taking my time.”
“Don’t hold it against the prosecution because I bear a striking resemblance to George Clooney.”
“When this trial concludes, my client would like to invite all of you on a free trip to Bermuda.”
“My client fought the law and the law won.”
“They have the law on their side, but I got something better: loopholes!”
“Everything here is peaceful and calm. Close your eyes and let my words wash over you.”
“First, let me give you some tips for how to get out of this next time.”
“I want you all to follow my finger.”
“Does anyone remember what I was talking about?”
“My client is innocent. He was doing me a favor when he was caught.”
“You in the back. What can I say that would make you vote to acquit my client?”
“There’s not one of you brave enough to pull my finger?”
“My wife made this lovely sweater suit.”
“My client asks that you render a guilty verdict and prays that he might serve any jail time at a facility that has no cable news networks.”
“And then the defendant pointed the gun like so.”
“Hold up one if he’s guilty, and two if not guilty.”
“You! Juror 4 … wake up!”
“And then Mr. Horner, aka Little Jack, stuck this finger in the pie.”
“If reaching a verdict becomes an issue, I suggest you all vote the same as the tall bald headed gentleman in the back row.”
“Good luck reaching the correct verdict. I placed it on the uppermost shelf in the Jury Room.”
“I hope you will show the defendant the appropriate amount of compassion as he too is but a character in a unpublished single framed cartoon.”
“You are getting sleepy … very … very … sleepy…”
“You’ve sat here for four days and heard the evidence against my client, and now for the next forty minutes you’ll hear my spin.”
“Come on, own up, which one of you stole my Yo-Yo?”
“Who among us hasn’t committed bank fraud?”
“The proof is in the pudding and all of you will have some for lunch.”
“The real crime is how little you’re being paid for your service.”
“I proved my case and now you must prove me right.”
“Just because my client hated his
wife doesn’t mean he killed her for her money.”
“Since the Basketball Playoffs and Final Deliberations both begin tomorrow the Judge has asked me to make sure that you are all up to speed on how ‘Rock Paper Scissors’ works.”
“Would it kill any one of you to just one time bring in a few bagels and cream cheese?”
“You live in a town with a population of twelve, yet you’re surprised that you’ve been selected for Jury Duty?”
“If in doubt, let this gentleman be your Henry Fonda.”
“And a one, and a two . . . ”
“I don’t care if he is innocent or guilty, let the majority rule.”
“And when I said my client was a dirty rotten scoundrel, it was a mere slip of the tongue.”
“My client is guilty but plans to run for president, so let’s all cut him some slack.”
“You’re a jury of his peers, you’re all innocent, ergo my client is innocent.”
“My client asks that you give him liberty but alternatively, take death off the table.”
“Where is it written that a gun can’t be accidentally discharged seven times?”
“You’ve only been sequestered for nine days. How would you feel if you were ‘sequestered’ for life?”
“I pinky swear my client didn’t mean to do it.”
“Guilty, or, if you thought yesterday’s lunch was bad, today’s is yesterday’s, warmed over.”
“I want to remind you that the defendant is an actor. So, whether you believe him to be innocent or guilty, just remember, he’s guilty.”
“We could have gone to trial without a jury but you all looked particularly gullible.”
“Remember, you must decide this case strictly on the facts. Preferably, my version of the facts.”
“I’m not actually an attorney but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”
“I just realized there’s twelve of you and twelve is also the number of times it took me to pass the State Bar.”
“Let’s all watch that back door just in case someone races in to confess.”
“Twenty years ago I passed the bar on the first attempt but tonight, on the drive home, I do not intend to pass the first bar I see.”
“In closing, you are the best-looking jury I’ve ever had and I know you’ll do the right thing.”
“Time to decide: Tastes Great or Less Filling?”
“Ask not what our country can do for you, ask what you can do for my client.”
“My client did bad things, but that’s in the past. Let bygones be bygones!”
“Can I get a Hallelujah?”
“Now go back and deliberate, and let’s win one for the Gipper!”
“Hate the murder, love the murderer – and let’s all beat the traffic home!”
“Court T.V. is filming today so expect me to be somewhat obnoxious.”
Please note, the court has misplaced your personal information. I have it on good authority though, one way or another, you will be getting yours.
“I’m telling you . . . they (finger gestured) the wrong guy!”