Contest No. 220 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, December 18, 2024.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
72 Comments
If you have to ask the price, sir, you are in the wrong restaurant.
No, we do not put prices on our menu to trick you.
We do not serve quarter pounders.
“I’m sorry Messieur, Cuisses de Grenouille is not served with french fries!”
So you want the three course special. Just a moment, sir, I`ll check if the chef is sober yet.
“It shouldn’t take too long to prepare . . . the new manager just finished interviewing the last applicant for the new chef’s position.”
“Social Security number, please.”
“I am pleased to inform you that we may get our ‘A’ rating back shortly.”
“You never know when prices may rise, so order fast.”
“The owner filed Chapter 13 Bankruptcy today, so this evening’s featured entree is Sliced Frankfurters in Mac and Cheese.”
“Please listen carefully to the specials as our menu options have changed.”
“I can’t recommend anything in case you don’t like it and choose not to tip.”
“If you have to ask the price of a special, you can’t afford it.”
“My name is Nick and I’ll be your server tonight – unless Broadway calls.”
“Would you like to see the ‘Tariff Free’ menu?”
“Certain entrees require a consent form prepared by our in-house lawyer.”
“I’m afraid I can’t recommend anything – I just work here.”
“No, Sir . . . we do not offer ‘Tariff Free’ entrees!”
“I’m now going to describe the specials – so you may want to take notes.”
“Would you like the chef’s special — or prefer to wait two hours for something else?”
“I am afraid we do not offer ‘chicken nuggies and french fries’.”
No, we do not sell pizza bagels here.
“Might I interest you in something other than the company that printed the menu?”
“Gluten-free, extra gluten, or gluten on the side?”
“Do you need a few minutes? Or do you excel in making decisions that paralyze so many others?”
“Everything is good here except your French.”
“Fine choice, but it is customary to bring your wife to your anniversary dinner.”
“To get the early-bird special, you had to be here yesterday.”
“Time’s up, sir, I’ll order for the lady.”
“It’s a menu, sir, not War and Peace.”
“We have found that menus without prices reduce 911 calls.”
“I’m sorry sir, our manager is off today and the kitchen staff is using the Escargot for ‘morale building’ snail races.”
“May I suggest the ‘It’s A Special Occasion And The Company’s Gonna Pay For It’ menu?”
“May I interest you in our special? Frog heads in a beurre blanc sauce for $49.95.”
“Welcome to the Le Meridian. Our duck tartare comes in three flavors: honey mustard, BBQ, and mango teriyaki.”
“Sorry sir, we only have lamb croquettes on bird wing lettuce this evening.”
“No, sir, you can’t have ketchup. It is forbidden. Tsk. Tsk. Humph. American.”
“Do I look like I want to be here, buddy? And no, I don’t speak French.”
“Thank you for your order. Your beef bourguignon came from Philippe the cow, and your wife’s Coq au vin was Béatrice.”
“I recommend you have your after dinner mint as your first course.”
“All I can reveal about the specials are that they all start with the letter ‘D’.
“Will Sir require his usual twenty gulps before sending the wine back this evening?”
It’s “Beef Bourguignon”, if Monsieur would spare himself the embarrassment of trying to pronounce it.
“Next week I’m being replaced with a Men–U APP for the gentlemen and a Wo-men-U APP for the ladies.”
“Sure, you can order off-menu if you don’t mind enraging the chef.”
“Bottled water, tap, or fluoride-free?”
“An excellent choice, sir, especially if money is tight, you’re on a diet, or you don’t have to impress your date.”
The special today is the blackened salmon. It displays unique characteristics and carries with it an unmistakeable aroma.
No, that description of the avocado toast was not meant to be a funny cartoon caption, Sir.
Sorry Sir, Eli’s Omelette just went viral and we’re filling orders from around the world. Can you come back in a few days?
We’re all out of the Cartoon Caption Omelette, Sir. Can’t you just go home and make one?
“No Michelin rating, but we did get 5 stars from Bridgestone.”
“Sir, even if you are a perfectly delightful patron, there is no trophy for best guest.”
“The wine sommelier will be out shortly to correct your mispronunciations.”
“Don’t let the fact that my wife left me yesterday with three hungry children affect the amount of your tip, Sir.
“We know the menus are blank . . . our new attorney says it’s best to eliminate any paper trail.”
“By chance, have either of you seen a small red box that says ‘RAT SHOT’ on the top and sides?”
“Those are entrees, not “suggestions”.”
“Excellent choices: two blue-plate specials coming right up.”
“I’d recommend the restaurant across the street.”
“I can’t recommend anything, Sir. I’m afraid to taste the food.”
“Each entree comes with a knife, fork, and napkin, no extra charge.”
“The cuisine here is nouvelle – – which is French for teensy-weensy.”
The croque monsieur? It’s a ham and cheese sandwich . . . but better.
“Catch of the day? Well, fine dining comes with a steep price.”
I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.
“How do I find the Escargot? . . . I just go out back and rack back the leaves!”
“If you’re a food critic and you find our food lacking, perhaps you could make mention of our generous portions?”
“I recommend the pheasant, sir. The chef is in a ‘fowl’ mood tonight.”
No sir, a luscious head of hair is not on the menu.
No sir, your Burger King coupon does not work here.
For an extra $20 I will call your wife and and tell her you need to stay late at work.