Contest No. 218 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, October 23, 2024.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. As you can tell from the drawing, this is another very old cartoon of mine, probably going back more than 65 years. I hope you can improve on my original caption, which you will be able to see in a week’s time. Good luck, Captioneers!
57 Comments
My first trick or treat
“He says he hasn’t made a deposit since living under the boardwalk at Jones Beach!”
“He says he was living on a desert island — and then his ship came in.”
“He doesn’t want a free toaster. He wants a ham sandwich.”
“His old mattress was starting to feel lumpy.”
“He qualifies for a free checking account.”
I want to do what he does
“He’s been out of circulation for a while.”
“Do you remember what the rules are for opening an account when someone has no address or last name?”
“He’s been saving for a rainy day — and now he’s moving to the tropics.”
“An account? No thanks, but I could use some bigger bags.”
He’s a sovereign citizen and wants to know the exchange rate on his currency.
“Did you hang the ‘NO Shirt – NO Shoes – NO Service’ sign on the door?”
“He just sold his collection of Armani suits and shoes.”
“It is 3:17 – time for the standard cage change.”
“He wants to know our policy on squealing.”
“He said some guy named Eli was responsible for his being OVERDRAWN!”
“This guy has ‘OVERDRAWN’ all over his face.”
“I’ve got an ‘Adventure Capitalist’ at my window.”
“For a new account, can we use ‘Second Cardboard Box Behind BluetownTavern’ as the account holder’s physical address?”
“He’s got loads of money but he just has that overdrawn look about him.”
“Which works best for Mr. Crusoe’s new account file . . . ‘Adventure Capitalist’ or ‘Misadventure Capitalist’?
“Hey, do we take doubloons?”
“It’s a big deposit — should I give him the free toaster, or a starter house?”
“No shoes, no service? Or give us all the money bags you got?”
“He robbed us in the past — but the statute of limitations has expired.”
“This gentleman says he doesn’t need a toaster, so what can he get for depositing 10,000 16th Century Gold Spanish Dabloons?”
“He said he appreciates all our help and he would like to invite us over but his place is a wreck.”
“He says his financial advisor is a soccerball named Wilson.”
“Two fifty pound bags of 17th century Spanish gold and he’s still overdrawn!”
“You know that guy in the desert island cartoons? That’s him.”
“Do we take wooden nickels?”
“What is a doubloon worth today?”
“Jim, do you know the current U.S. Dollar to 18th century Dabloon exchange rate?”
“Rob Crusoe . . . why does that name sound familiar?”
“He’s one of those tech CEOs”
“His ‘The End is Near’ sidewalk sign convinced a billionaire to empty his wallet.”
“What’s our policy on accepting gold coins from well-to-do ne’er-do-wells?”
“Can we accept gold coins from bags marked Wells Fargo 1867?”
“Quick . . . bring out the good treats . . . I’m not willing to take a chance on a trick from a guy with these resources.”
“It’s from an offshore account.”
“He wants to talk with our investment advisor.”
“Get a load of this — this bum says he’s Howard Hughes.”
“Am I permitted to open an account for a no-account?”
“He’s called the ‘hippie thief’ so hand over the dough.”
I thought I saw it all
“Says he worked at Marine Midland — until they went under. He’s been drifting ever since.”
“He has an overdrawn look!”
“He wants to put it all on the #3 horse in the fifth.”
If the coin comes out of the fountain, does the wish still come true?
“His wife just divorced him — and he got the mattress.”
“What the heck is Bitcoin?”
What’s the account minimum for access to the executive bathroom?
He says he just found 20 piggy banks.
You ready for another game of ‘guess how many couch cushions’?
“Mr. Gump smells like shrimp.”
“Stew . . . deposits up to five doubloons are ‘FDIC’ insured, aren’t they?”