Contest No. 210 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, March 13, 2024.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
47 Comments
I have no job, no assets, how much money can you loan me?
“I know I don’t have a good credit rating but isn’t ‘cross my heart and hope to die’ good enough?”
“I understand most of the terms but what’s with this pay back with interest business?”
“My credit rating is a perfect score of 100.”
“I need six bucks for a burger, fries and a coke.”
“I’m considering purchasing the Lincoln Memorial.”
“My wife says that if I give her ten thousand, she will move out and leave me alone.”
“So when you say ‘Low Interest Loans’ you actually mean your bank is not interested in making loans with a low interest rate?”
“I need twenty dollars til Tuesday to enter the office basketball pool.”
“You remember the time in Little League when you put laxative in the ‘Gatorade Cooler’ and I said I’d never tell . . . ?
“Didn’t you have hair when I first applied for my home equity loan?”
“Can I use a credit card to pay my monthly payments? . . . I may need the airline travel points in case I have to leave town in a hurry.”
“If Mr. Lucky wins The Preakness, I can pay you back right away.”
“. . . and when she told me we were joining a Book of the Month Club I thought it was a kind of self-improvement thing!”
That’s a loaded question!
I’m sorry, I just don’t have the same interest in you that you have in me.
“It all comes down to dollars and sense.”
“Let’s just say the IRS and I had a difference of opinion.”
“I need a zero interest and a pay whenever you want loan.”
“Can we SPEED this up a bit? My ‘LOW FUEL LIGHT’ has been on since yesterday!”
“Dissatisfied? . . . let me put it this way, when you started processing our home loan you had thick wavy hair and you didn’t wear glasses.”
“I don’t need money — I want to borrow your power tools for a week.”
“C’mon, Hal, you’re my brother for Pete’s sake.”
“I hope you’re more understanding than my creditors were.”
Proposing to my girlfriend tonight. I’m here to practice grovelling.
You want to know how much allowance I saved as a kid?
If I had collateral, I wouldn’t need to be here.
Dad, would you please co-sign my loan?
You’ve never had a client default on a loan. You’ve also never issued one.
Would you buzz your receptionist? I’d like to meet her.
I was advised to compliment the loan officer’s hair. I just don’t know how.
Just before I woke up, you had forgiven my loan, and you lived happily ever after.
I will date your sister and of course you will half my interest rate.
“If I get a mother-in-law/room addition loan, how many payments would I need to miss before you repossess her?”
“I want a home where the buffalo roam and the deer and the antelope play.”
“But your bank always seems so friendly in your TV advertisements.”
Sir, the rule in banking is that to loan money you have to have money.
“To err is human, but it’s also expensive.”
“Well, my wife left me, I lost my job, my house is in foreclosure, and my business failed. That’s why.”
“I just need enough to get Guido my friendly neighborhood loanshark off my back.”
“I appreciate you, I’m a loner too.”
“So you’re saying bouncing my foot when I’m lying may be the reason I keep losing at poker?”
“You said my credit rating’s the worst you’ve ever seen, and you said I’m the last person on earth that you would ever make a loan to. If you got something to say Dad I wish you would just come out and say it.”
“I need it for my prison commissary account but if you can wait 15-20 years you will get it all back.”
“Can you hurry things up? My Bookie is on hold and the game is about to start!”
“It’s not that I can’t pay it back. I just don’t want to.”
“I’d rather work with the pretty blonde lady from your TV ads . . . you know, the one that wears a teal green halter top while riding her bicycle in the park?”
“I`d like to loan a crowbar my right leg is stuck to my left leg.”