Contest No. 207 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has a notation as to the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, December 20, 2023.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
63 Comments
“We’re in agreement then, Santa: You handle the ho-ho-ho, we’ll handle the dough-dough-dough!”
We are so much alike, Santa, I take money and you give it away.
“. . . and we’ll help finance all the toys, but in exchange, we want exclusive rights both to the holiday’s name, and your name.”
I had to leave the job due to consistant ringing in the ears.
May I join you with my cowbell? All songs can use more cowbell.
“I’m personally thanking every Santa! This year’s rally made me a millionaire.”
“Hello, Fred. It’s been a while since I fired you.”
You got me exactly what I needed when I was young, so I am going to provide you with the exact insurance coverage you need.
My son has retained my services and has requested that I seek a pardon for his indiscretions this past year.
I’m an accountant. I’m from Whitehall and Marks. I’ve come to do your books.
I’ll just need to verify the elves’ employment paperwork and I’ll be out of your beard!
“Everyone says you’re the dingiest
Santa we’ve ever had.”
“My dear sir, congratulations . . . your marketing people are pure genius . . . I wish you lasting success in your future endeavors!!!”
“Customers are saying ‘you’re the dingiest Santa that we’ve ever hired’.”
I traded in my ride for one that doesn’t produce gas.
“Is that you, Claus? . . . we were in high school together. Someone told me you moved way up north.”
I will be bringing a class action suit against you concerning the matter of unfulfilled assumed promises.
‘Aren’t you a little late for Halloween?”
“Are you the Shopping Center, Bell Ringing, Santa?”
“Don’t forget to report your earnings to the IRS.”
“Meeting you is so unreal.”
“Are you a bell ringing Santa?”
“Santa, big fan. Once global warming melts the ice caps, I’d be happy to offer you a job.”
“If I donate this briefcase, loaded with cash, will you stop ringing that irritating bell for the rest of the evening?”
“Where do you see yourself . . .
five Christmas from today?”
“So glad to meet you. Are you the one the kids call Santa?”
“Thanks for letting me put you in a brand new Chevy Sleigh 7.5!”
“I gave at my girlfriends house.”
“Santa, please leave Mrs. Claus alone. She and Rudolph are living quietly in Hawaii.”
“Heh, Mr. Giuliani, is this how you plan on raising the 148 million?”
“The homeowner agreed to drop the trespassing charge if you leave 5 I- Phone 15’s.”
“Thanks for believing in me.”
You don’t have a kettle or a g-string. Where is everyone putting their dollar bills?
I had a lemonade stand on this corner when I was a kid. Do you need any pointers?
Hello – I’m a lawyer. What do you do?
Hello! My name is Timmy Montoya. You killed my grandmother (with your Reindeer). Prepare to die.
“I’m with the state prosecutor’s office. We are going to subpoena your ‘Who’s Been Naughty and Who’s Been Nice’ list for the last eight years.”
“I hope you got my letter?”
“Oh, boy! I’m so glad you came to town.”
“Santa, do you mind getting that sleigh off the street? Its blocking traffic.”
“I’d like a new life, a new wife and a new Ferrari.”
You never mentioned this clause in my contract.
I’m investigating a few Insurance Fraud Schemes. I need to see your 23rd Street Naughty List for the past four years.”
“Rudy tipped us that you are delivering a lot of ‘My Pillows’ this year. We’re gonna need Inventory Receipts and a Current Tax I.D. Number.”
“We received a tip from Minnesota that you are delivering fake ‘My Pillows’ this year. I need to see those pillows you have under your suit.”
“It seems a local family is claiming their Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”
“These working conditions are deplorable. You don’t have a pot or a window.”
“That’s a very convincing disguise Mr. Santos and it makes your claim of being Santa’s long lost son so much more believable.”
Is that you Elvis?
I saw you kissing mommy when I was a little boy. Are you my daddy?
Forget what I want. Get my wife whatever makes your hands so soft.
Will you be needing a gift receipt Sir?
Can I interest you in reindeer insurance?
Ok, this suitcase full of cash for the one with the shiny nose!
Congratulations on purchasing your brand new electric reindeer.
Little Timmy has asked me to do a background check before you show up tonight.
Got Elf insurance?
I’m here on behalf of my client, Rudolph Reindeer. You are being served with safety violations for endangering your staff on a cold winters night.
Good day, I am representing your wife, Ms. Claus. And man is she showing hers.
“Santa, next year Jerusalem!”
“Rudolph says you’ve never paid him overtime.”
What I want more than anything is to make your Christmas a joyous one.
I’ve never met my own doppelganger, but I met plenty of yours.