Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 203

Contest No. 203 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, August 30, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!


  1. “Miss Haverstraw, my wife wants to know for the living room drapes would I prefer beige pinch pleated or a tie back with fancy valance in ivory?”

  2. “Mrs. Wiggins . . . in the future when paging Michael Hunt please say Michael Hunt not Mike Hunt.”

  3. “If Darlene’s husband calls, please tell him I’ve moved to the coast and I don’t know anyone named Darlene.”

  4. “Here I am surrounded by the most advanced communications technology humanity can ever possibly aspire to, even including a matching pen and pencil, and yet I still feel empty inside.”

  5. “Because I say hello to my reflection in the glass and dial outgoing calls on the calculator they’re making me take a month off!”

  6. “Holy @&%× . . . Ms. Jones . . . did you know if you page someone but don’t hang the phone up for more than four seconds you’re still connected to the P.A. system?”

  7. “I need your help Miss Doherty . . . I warned you that getting ‘two lines’ was not a good idea. I think I just told my poker buddies to wear something sexy, and told my wife that she owed me fifty bucks.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).