Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 200

Contest No. 200 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, June 7, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!


  1. Are you Dean Bradford from the prestigious, Harvard University? Your wife on the line . . . apparently, you forgot your stool sample on the stool!

  2. “I’m sorry, Mr. Nagle wants to know if you are here to fix his legal problems or one of his wife’s guys to nail him again?”

  3. “Sorry Mr. Evans, Dr. Tytus said to re-schedule your ‘Absent-Mindedness Group Therapy Session’ for next Wednesday . . . he forgot he had a session!”

  4. “One question, before I send you in to give your sales pitch, Mr. Hartley . . . would you prefer to be ‘frisked and searched’ out here, or in the office?”

  5. “The doctor wants to know if you’re in a hurry . . . she forgot she had an appointment to get her nails done, but she’ll be back within the hour!”

  6. “Your wife would like to know if you could swing by the school after your ‘World Peace Summit Meeting’ . . . the boys have been suspended for fighting!”

  7. Sorry to bother you sir, but your patient’s patience is wearing thin waiting for your meeting.

  8. “You’ll remember him when you see him, Mr. Nagle, he’s the one that never smiles and always looks constipated.”

  9. “It’s not the IRS agent that occasionally smiles. It’s worse, it’s the one that always looks constipated!”

  10. “Mr. Cagle says I should just sit here and look pretty until the SWAT Team gets here.”

  11. “Your boy Friday is back with the goods, Mr. Nagel . . . yes sir, as you requested, a brown paper bag, inside a brief case! It’s all there . . . a Kids Fun Meal and a Yum Yum Bar.”

  12. “Since Monday fell on Tuesday this Wednesday Mr. Cagle wants to move your 9:00 A.M. Tuesday meeting to 2:00 P.M. Wednesday, thereby removing the need to reschedule your regular 4:00 P.M. Thursday meeting to 1:00 P.M. Friday this coming Saturday.”

  13. “Mr. Nagel requests that you discontinue the foot tapping, finger drumming and throat clearing . . . it is interrupting his mid-afternoon snack!”

  14. “Mr. Nagle said, next time, ‘a couple of bagels and cream cheese’ will cut your wait time in half.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).