Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 199

Contest No. 199 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, May 10, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Yes, this cartoon of mine is as old as it looks. So old that it has my parent’s address in Brooklyn rubber-stamped on the back of it — I figure it was drawn about 65 to 70 years ago. I’m sure that many of you can improve on my original caption. Good luck, Captioneers!


  1. “I was supposed to ‘spray treat’ that house last month; but before I could get here, a flood came and drowned all the termites.”

  2. “I think the owner should send the termites a gift wrapped box of sawdust and a thank you card.”

  3. “This may be one of those times when it’s best to just let nature take its course.”

  4. “I’m tell’n ya Harv, if I’m lyin I’m dyin, last time we passed by that shack it was a three story mansion!”

  5. “Worst case scenario: We go in, light matches to see, then both of us die in a flash fire and/or explosion.
    “Best case scenario: We stay outside, throw a few matches through the front door, then we go to Olive Garden and you pay for our lunch.”

  6. “And this is where it all began, I found out why no termite would come near this place!”

  7. “The caller said a tornado deposited the house here last week, and he wanted to know if our guarantee covers all pests, including flying monkeys.”

  8. “You’re a chip off the old block, son . . . use them on your demolition job, and
    we’ll both profit . . . knock on wood!”

  9. “Apparently, the first couple of termites moved in five years ago . . . and
    everyone knows . . . the ‘Fifth Anniversary’ is ‘Wood’!”

  10. “This must be our lucky day, Harry . . . the owner said to help ourselves, to the
    fridge leftovers for lunch!”

  11. It’s better we leave this one alone. Found out the termites are hand by hand holding the house upright.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).