Contest No. 199 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, May 10, 2023.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Yes, this cartoon of mine is as old as it looks. So old that it has my parent’s address in Brooklyn rubber-stamped on the back of it — I figure it was drawn about 65 to 70 years ago. I’m sure that many of you can improve on my original caption. Good luck, Captioneers!
Even the termites are leaving
“The termites have taken over the lease.”
“It was a two story house before they moved in.”
How much money are they paying us to leave the termites there?
“I was supposed to ‘spray treat’ that house last month; but before I could get here, a flood came and drowned all the termites.”
“I’m afraid it’s terminal.”
“Thanks for picking me up, Al.”
“Once the termites got to his wooden leg, it was all over.”
“We lost our first lawsuit on that job.”
“Let us spray.”
“Termites might just be the best thing that could happen to this place.”
“I think the owner should send the termites a gift wrapped box of sawdust and a thank you card.”
“In this situation the termites are providing a valuable public service.”
“Termites are often valuable public servants.”
“This may be one of those times when it’s best to just let nature take its course.”
“I’m tell’n ya Harv, if I’m lyin I’m dyin, last time we passed by that shack it was a three story mansion!”
“Look it`s still standing — not even the termites dare enter the Clampetts toilet.”
“According to my navigation app this is the ‘Biltmore Mansion Estate’.”
“Worst case scenario: We go in, light matches to see, then both of us die in a flash fire and/or explosion.
“Best case scenario: We stay outside, throw a few matches through the front door, then we go to Olive Garden and you pay for our lunch.”
“And this is where it all began, I found out why no termite would come near this place!”
“We have a non-aggression pact.”
“A tornado is the only way that house is going to be flipped quickly.”
“Good job! The termites are now in control.”
This is what I mean by “your termites are going to a better place!”
“The caller said a tornado deposited the house here last week, and he wanted to know if our guarantee covers all pests, including flying monkeys.”
“You’re a chip off the old block, son . . . use them on your demolition job, and
we’ll both profit . . . knock on wood!”
“Finish the job, Homer . . . and don’t take any ‘wooden nickels’!”
“Apparently, the first couple of termites moved in five years ago . . . and
everyone knows . . . the ‘Fifth Anniversary’ is ‘Wood’!”
“I wouldn’t give anything to be a fly on that wall!”
“We are the Termite-inators, we’ll be back!”
“This is Trump’s new place.”
“I hope it landed on a bad witch?”
“Okay, I wasn’t expecting Trump Towers . . . but, the ‘Roach Motel?”
“This must be our lucky day, Harry . . . the owner said to help ourselves, to the
fridge leftovers for lunch!”
“I think the giant termite wearing a Sombrero was from Tijuana.”
“I hope that’s not a wood steering wheel.”