Contest No. 189 starts right now.
Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption.
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, August 3, 2022.
I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.
Okay, let’s have a little fun with this one.
At the end of the last Contest, I revealed that my original caption, from many decades ago, was a miserable pun (“Lock him up and throw away the quiche”, instead of “Lock him up and throw away the keys”). For this current Contest, I’m presenting, for your consideration, another familiar courtroom scene. This time it’s a jury foreman reading from a slip of paper. But this time, the drawing includes a title, or header banner, above it that says POETIC JUSTICE. The drawing still needs your funny caption to complete it.
I just want to let you know that my original caption for this drawing was a short, snappy four-line rhyming poem.
Now this cartoon was never purchased or printed by any of the publications that I offered it to (including The New Yorker, of course), so I’m not claiming that my original caption/poem was any good. I’m also not saying that, in judging this contest next week, I will give any “special” consideration to any caption/poems that you choose to submit (after all, you’re Captioneers, not Poemeers). All I’m saying is that I remember having a lot of fun at the time just thinking about the possibilities, and I hope you will also.
So why not give it a shot, just for laughs? You can make it a normal, everyday caption, a poem, a limerick, a haiku, an ode, a ditty, or what-have-you. Just make it humorous and appropriate to the drawing, please. My original poem/caption will be revealed next week, as usual, when I announce the winner of this Contest.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
30 Comments
This jury finds that if you do the crime
you do the time.
“Milty
is guilty.
That’s poetic justice!”
“We have formed a union and would like each witness to sit on a whoopee cushion.”
“We find Jack not guilty, your Honor . . . Jill came tumbling down after Jack was fatally injured!!”
“Hickory, Hickory Dock
The Mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The mouse is dead”
Poetic Justice!
“To get to the point,
we recommend the joint.”
“We have a ‘hung jury’ your Honor…
The six males rendered a ‘guilty verdict’ after recovering from the shock.
The six females, once over their laughter, insisted, Ms. Bobbitt should walk!
Jury finds chef no good.
Taste was lacking. Smell bad too.
Quiche him goodbye.
“Your Honor, before we render our verdict, we the jury, proclaim … we did
‘not’ send the cake to the defense attorney, with the note … your client will
get his just desserts!”
We have studied this case for a long time
To determine the extent of the crime
But after so much debate
And making you wait
Not guilty! It’s OK to use words that don’t rhyme!
“We the jury
are finally free
cause here it is:
he is guilllll-tee.”
“With due respect to Your Honor.
Set bail and this guy’s a goner.
So, get on with his case,
and we’ll put him in place!
And you’ll be home in time for supper.”
“Since both the victim and the defendant drew guns, we’re calling it a draw.”
“We find the defendant guilty of bank robbery and you can take that to the bank.”
We cannot agree
to disagree.
“Roses are red
Violets are blue
We’re all at ‘he’s guilty’
Except juror two.”
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Guilty? Innocent?
We have no clue.
“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked. Oh also the guy is guilty.”
“After the dirty, rotten louse
Ran off with the Sis of his spouse…
Why should he be counted in
On her recent, lottery win…
He should be poor as a mouse!”
“We find the defendant guilty of theft from a coin operated machine by the flip of a coin.”
“The defendant was brought to justice
and found guilty by just us.”
“We find the defendant not guilty of embezzlement. He’s too stupid to have committed the crime.”
We find the defendant guilty of the crime,
straight to jail
without any bail.
“We`ve found your son not guilty as ordered by you, your honour.”
“We need a replacement for juror #4, before we can break our deadlock…
She was the only ‘non-guilty’ vote for ‘The South Street Strangler’… but
had to be removed, when she ‘choked’ on a chicken bone at lunch!”
“We know the defendant has the right to remain silent and not testify but we would like to inform him that he’s dead meat if he doesn’t.”
“To be, or not to be, in the slammer, that is the question.
The answer: To be.”
“Your honor, we find that he did the crime! And he must do the time! We suggest a life sentence! Even though that doesn’t rhyme!
We agree that it’s time for Lunch
“Your Honor, with your permission, we would like to deliver the verdict to the tune from Johnny B. Goode.”