Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 183

“Why does he get a menu and I get a coloring book?”

(by Michael Lomazow)


My original caption: “I’ll have the shrimp — and skip the wisecracks.”


Congratulations, Michael Lomazow, on your third resounding victory. Yes, there’s no doubt that you’re definitely one of the funniest people around. Keep up the good work!

Glad to see that you Captioneers took up my challenge to at least do better than my original rather obvious caption (see above). I’d say that a few of you succeeded very well. Michael Lomazow’s winning caption brought a great big smile to my face. I dare say that if I had thought of that caption in the 1950’s the cartoon would have been snapped up by one of the Cartoon Editors.

Here are the other submissions that were in the running:

“No, I don’t want the children’s menu.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

“Yes, I said a short stack and a small orange juice. What’s so funny about that?” (by Gayden Wren)

“I’m so hungry I could eat a colt.” (by Pat Foley)

“You’re amused because I worked here as a “short-order cook’?” (by Kay Ralph)

“We’ll see how short I am come tip time.” (by Rich Wolf)

“Stop smirking. I am old enough to order liquor with my meal.” (by Diane)


In case anyone is confused about Marc Eliot Stein’s entry, “I say it’s spinach and I say to hell with it.”, I recognized it immediately as a paraphrase of a classic Carl Rose cartoon that appeared in The New Yorker in 1928. The published caption was not Carl Rose’s, by the way — it was written by E. B. White, author of “Stuart Little” and “Charlotte’s Web” and other renowned books. White was on the staff of The New Yorker for decades and was a frequent contributor to the magazine (including helping out some of the cartoonists with their captions). Of course I couldn’t consider Marc’s submission as a serious entry in the Caption Contest.

A new Contest will be posted before you know it. Keep those funny captions coming!

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).