Contest No. 182 starts right now.
Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, January 19, 2022.
I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. This one goes back to my very earliest days of submitting cartoons to publications, in the mid-1950’s. When I started sending them out, on a free-lance, speculative basis, I numbered the cartoons on the back, to keep track of them. This one has the number 33 on it. I’ve sold thousands of cartoons over the years, each one consecutively numbered, and have thousands more that never sold, so you better believe that this one is a real oldie. Let’s see if you can do any better with it, Captioneers!
43 Comments
“You know, I hate that chair.”
“Hon, could you bring me an end table?”
“Take your time. I’m counting the dots.”
“Sixth floor. Women’s shoes and accessories.”
“I think the leopard is in here somewhere.”
George, you need to come off that strict diet of yours.
“I don’t know why your young gentleman left, honey . . . I just asked if he would prefer to call me ‘Dad’, or Stan!”
“Doris, this is one of the best conversations we’ve had in a long time.”
“Are you comfortable?”
“You’re right dear, talking to the wall is just as easy.”
“We’ll just catch up until she gets back.”
“I’ve always loved that chair.”
I think it’s time we get a TV.
We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty!
“Yes, Dad’s insomnia is back . . . Busted!”
“The hair and hearing’s gone, but the peripheral vision’s
not . . . back up stairs, young lady!”
Don’t bother to rush, honey, the show is already half over.
Honey, come and meet my friend Griffin.
“And you thought it was foolish to buy a department store.”
“That’s odd, you usually take the elevator.”
“Well, Cindy, please invite the boy in. I’d like to hear what he knows about insurance underwriting?”
“I suppose you’ll want a T.V. next?”
“Now that’s something to stare at.”
… and we walked to school in the snow with no shoes, uphill both ways …
And down the escalator comes the first contestant of “Who Wants To Own A Department Store!”
The real you is coming, gotta go.
“Good news, daddy’s girl . . . you don’t have to rush to get
ready . . . your date’s gone to get a proper haircut!”
“I think Oprah’s wrong, Hon . . . venting my aches and
pains to the empty chair, just doesn’t cut it!”
“Have you lost weight, dear?”
“You wouldn’t believe how self-absorbed my boss is,
Vera . . . he’s oblivious to everybody and everything!”
“Can I follow you? I got lost.”
“But we do know each other. I saw you going up.”
“But you know me. I saw you go up.”
“Can I follow you out? I’m lost.”
“These cartoons from the 1950’s never get old.”
“Why do I always have to carry the conversation?”
“Sorry hon. Scared off another of your beaus with my army stories”
“I’ll be with you soon. I’m in the middle of a catharsis.”
“My eyes are fine. Why is it so light in the movie theater?”
“I shouldn’t have assembled them inside the store.”
“I’m sorry if you feel overlooked.”
“Honey, would you book me an appointment with Dr.
Stevenson . . . I’m seeing multiple floaters!”
“New dress, dear?”