Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 171

Contest No. 171 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Thursday March 18, 2021.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.




  1. We find the defendant, a tourist from Europe, not guilty . . . we believe he truly thought he was on the line for the White House tour and was deeply impressed with the enthusiasm of the people!!!!

  2. “Your honor, we the jury found the plot cliched and predictable, the characters vague and the dialogue verbose and overwritten. The role of the bailiff was played with authority by Byron M. Whittaker, however, and Sharon Pellman was appealing in a cameo as the daughter of the defendant.”

  3. “We the Jury, after much discussion, feel like our hotel was average, the food terrible, and Juror 4 has a severe case of halitosis. Oh, and guilty on all counts.”

  4. “We the jury, after much deliberation, and before we render our verdict, have a few complaints to discuss with His Honor.”

  5. “In the manner of ‘Ginsburg vs. Ginsberg’, the jury finds Ginsberg guilty. Either one will do.”

  6. “First, if you’d like to hear some of the behind the scenes that went into this verdict, please check our podcast …”

  7. ” We find the milk, bananas, lox and cream cheese, a gallon of milk and…Oh wait, this is my grocery list.”

  8. Your honor, we are hopelessly deadlocked. Half the jury wants Italian food for dinner tonight, the other half wants Chinese.

  9. “We recommend the death penalty, Your Honor. It’s nothing personal–it’s strictly business.”

  10. Your honor, we the jury, being of sound mind and sober, cannot give you
    a verdict pertaining to this case.

  11. “The jury wishes to express our profound disappointment at the performance of everyone involved in the trial.”

  12. ¨We, the jury, feel the client is entitled to damages… considering
    the extent of the Covid needle side effect!¨

  13. “We would like the court to know that we are all freaked out by the large peep hole in the door.”

  14. “In keeping with the friendly way this trial was conducted,we would like to sing the verdict.”

  15. Your Honor, we cannot come up with a verdict at this time, we would like you to flip a coin, heads guilty, tails innocent .

  16. Yes, your Honor we’ve come to a conclusion . . . 3 tuna on rye, 3 egg salad on rye and 3 ham and cheese on rye.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).