Contest No. 170 starts right now.
Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Thursday February 18, 2021.
I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.
51 Comments
The Tanning booth is next door.
“Sorry,no discount for people who look like senior citizens.”
” You can return to work.Your laziness has healed. “
“Bread is not your friend.”
“No,I don’t accept Bitcoin.”
“My wife hates me too.”
“It’s all good news, Mr. Rotundonato, your condition is chronic but treatable. You will be seeing me for the next ten years and its just in time for my three kids to get through college!”
“I’d say you need a little less in the middle and a little more on top.”
“Why not you?”
“I’ve come to a diagnosis. But first, do you have life insurance?”
“It’s only slightly less expensive if you remove your own kidney.”
“Second opinion? I’m always right.”
“You have it backwards: it’s three meals a day, and seven food groups.”
“Does exercise happen to run in your family?”
The good news is you have a body of a 50 year old, the bad news is you are only 40
“You’re in good shape for an eighty year old.Unfortunately,you’re only fifty.”
” Sorry,you can’t become a doctor by sweeping up the office. “
“Your lab results are in.Don’t pre-pay for any vacation.”
” The good news is that you don’t have covid 19.The bad news is that you have covid 20-24. “
“Your vacation should be short.”
“Extra cheese on your pizza may be a bridge too far.”
” I assure you.My nurse likes you. “
“Your prostate is declaring its independence.”
“Sorry,but your Triple A insurance doesn’t cover everything.”
On the bright side, you’ve made me feel much better about my own weight.
“Stop comparing yourself to Tom Brady.I know Tom Brady and you’re no Tom Brady.”
My advice to you John about your weight is to eat whatever you want, just don’t swallow it
Sorry, Mr. Sloan, but you must vacate the office now… patients are waiting… Now, for the last time – that examining light is Not stimulating
hair growth!
“Are you ready for your close-up, Mr. Jones?”
“So, you accidentally spilled a bottle of Nair on your head?”
“I’m recommending the TB12 diet to all my patients.”
¨I went to Med School to escape the Family Mechanics Business, and
talk about deja vu… The issues in my first case – Gas, balding and
spare tire!¨
“No, you can’t have a lollipop.”
¨Mr. Gregory… There is No, Post Traumatic Bill, Stress Disorder!¨
“You’re getting sleepy…”
¨No, Mr. Merritt, we were not trying to choke you, by prescribing
HORSE PILLS for you to swallow…Suppositories are to be inserted-
not swallowed!¨
¨So, Mr. Carr, you are telling me, your diet consists, solely, of fruits, veggies
and water… How long have you been delusional¨
Well it could be dyspepsia or Helicobacter pylori induced gastritis, and we could proceed with nuclear magnetic resonance imaging and upper and lower gastrointestinal endoscopy, but in this case I just think you burped
“I recommend you stay six feet away from your fridge.”
¨So, your diet consists, solely, of fruits and vegetables… How long
have you been delusional, Mr. Bouchard¨
Worst case of beer belly head i`ve ever seen.
You think you’re sick??? I could have bought GameStop at $10.00!!
“So you were the boy in that Norman Rockwell painting?”
No, light will not help your hair grow, but it will illuminate your baldness.
¨After listening to you and looking at you… I am guessing, your wife
is in her Third Trimester!¨
“Habits are like a warm bed on a cold night. Easy to get into and hard to get out of.”
Wow! You’ve gotten a lot fatter since the last caption contest.
You’ve really put on weight since Sept 2019!
Good news, bad news Mr. Smith. The good news is your Covid shot is scheduled for next week. The bad news is, your test results are back and you have two weeks left to live.
Good news, bad news Mr. Smith. The good news is your Covid shot is scheduled for next week. The bad news is, your test results are back and let’s just say, you may not be around for the second shot.
¨A classic case of P.D.S. – Pillsbury Doughboy Syndrome!¨