Contest No. 168 starts right now (it’s another special pandemic contest).
Briefly, here are the details: Usually, I supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. For this contest, I’m supplying a new drawing. You are invited to submit your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment” on the bottom of this posting. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot — please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of the contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant.
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 15, 2020. Shortly after that, the winner will be announced and the winning caption will be posted. I will be the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted. Again, for this special contest only, I am not supplying an old, unpublished cartoon of mine, so I do not have any original caption to reveal.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.
Wow, this coronavirus is really getting around. A few months ago it was on an almost deserted island, and just before that it was seen on a psychiatrist’s couch. Well, it’s the holiday season, so what better place for it to pop up than on Santa’s lap? What does jolly old St. Nick have to say to his little guest? Well, that’s up to you, captioneers . . . good luck! And if you do happen to have little babes planning to visit Santa (not at all recommended this year), make sure they’re masked and well protected, because we all have to stay healthy!
69 Comments
“You realize this beard isn’t
“You realize this beard isn’t a mask, right?”
“Well, I guess I can dispense
“Well, I guess I can dispense with the question, ‘Have you been good or bad?'”
“If you keep up what your
“If you keep up what your doing, then on the night before Christmas not a creature will be stirring.”
“Ho Ho…Cough Cough…Hack
“Ho Ho…Cough Cough…Hack Hack…Wheeze Wheeze!”
“You don’t need me, you need
“You don’t need me, you need the confessional booth across the street.”
“Have you ever considered
“Have you ever considered spreading good cheer?”
“I wish you only wanted your
“I wish you only wanted your two front teeth!”
“You’ve already got my health
“You’ve already got my health, my job, my friends and family . . . WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?”
I won’t bother to ask if you
I won’t bother to ask if you’ve been naughty or nice!
“No… You can’t come visit
“No . . . you can’t come visit me in the North Pole!?”
“Sorry… Santa cannot grant
“Sorry . . . Santa cannot grant your wish . . . Joe Biden will
remain President, even if it inhibits your freedom!”
“Thanks anyway… I’ll stick
“Thanks anyway . . . I’ll stick with Rudolph’s ‘red’,
germ-free nose, to guide my sleigh!”
I told you to bring Santa a
I told you to bring Santa a cover for his lap, not a covid
Can’t think of anything funny
Can’t think of anything funny but love the ART!
“I can offer you a vaccine
“I can offer you a vaccine shot and then we can get rid of this sucker.”
” I would like to offer you a
“I would like to offer you a vaccine shot and then we can get rid of this sucker.”
“No,you can’t hang it from
“No, you can’t hang it from your tree.”
” Closed until further notice
“Closed until further notice.”
“I found it at the White
“I found it at the White House but they have plenty more.”
” Could you put your requests
“Could you put your requests in the mail this year.”
“Santa shouldn’t have partied
“Santa shouldn’t have partied with the Reindeer.”
“Ho,Ho,Ho! Young man, There’s
“Ho, Ho, Ho! Young man, there’s not enough coal in West Virginia for your stockings.”
“Given how popular you are,
“Given how popular you are, OK, you can replace the star on the Christmas tree.”
“What have we here…Rudolf
“What have we here…Rudolf the red nosed virus!”
“How about I send you to hell
“How about I send you to hell instead?”
“No, you can’t have Trump
“No, you can’t have Trump back.”
“No, you can’t have all the
“No, you can’t have all the world’s masks.”
I don’t care what Trump says,
I don’t care what Trump says, you will NOT get immunity from the vaccine!
“Kids,this year everyone is
“Kids, this year everyone is getting the same present. Goodbye Trump, hello Biden.”
Santa, I need a change, do
Santa, I need a change, do you think I can take Rudolph’s
place?
“Hello, Mr. Trump.”
“Hello, Mr. Trump.”
“Are you sure you want to be
“Are you sure you want to be Trump’s present?”
It’s not that I don’t have a
It’s not that I don’t have a gift for you. I’m just starting to feel a little sick.
Take the existential dilemma
Take the existential dilemma up with the psychiatrist. I just give out gifts.
Your gifts are staying home,
Your gifts are staying home, washing their hands, wearing masks, and socially distancing.
Please sanitize your chimney,
Please sanitize your chimney, though.
Is it possible for a virus to
Is it possible for a virus to be nice?
Let’s do this on Zoom next
Let’s do this on Zoom next time.
Santa you need an eartest,we
Santa you need an eartest, we asked for the Corrs Video . . . they`re an Irish singing group.
“Kids,I’m taking this back to
“Kids, I’m taking this back to the North Pole, where we’ve already had the shots.”
“I’m just a carrier.”
“I’m just a carrier.”
No photos allowed I don`t
No photos allowed. I don`t want this to go Viral and spread.
On Pfizer, on Moderna, on
On Pfizer, on Moderna, on AstraZeneca…
What child is this?
What child is this?
I don’t have a gift for you,
I don’t have a gift for you, but I know a coal miner who does.
You make me sick.
You make me sick.
I’m giving you a double dose
I’m giving you a double dose of your own medicine.
“Rudolph spit this up.”
“Rudolph spit this up.”
They broke the mold when they
They broke the mold when they made you.
” Kids,come back in 10-14
“Kids, come back in 10-14 days, but Rudolph may be in charge.”
“This Christmas has been
“This Christmas has been stolen by the Grinch.”
“It’s colorful but volatile.”
“It’s colorful but volatile.”
“Mrs.Claus has kicked me out.
“Mrs.Claus has kicked me out.”
“No,you won’t find this at
“No, you won’t find this at Toys R’ Us.”
“So… my elf at the door
“So . . . my elf at the door didn’t try to stop you . . .
he just remarked – ‘kids are looking stranger every
year?'”
Santa, I would love to sit
Santa, I would love to sit and talk to you, but I have to
give my “presence” to everyone before Christmas day.
“You’re getting a gift that
“You’re getting a gift that keeps on giving — a vaccine.”
“You traveled all the way
“You traveled all the way from China?”
“Its drained us of all our
“Its drained us of all our color.”
“Have no fear.Claus is here.”
“Have no fear.Claus is here.”
“Mrs.Claus thinks I’m
“Mrs.Claus thinks I’m essential when the garbage needs to go out.”
“I’m delivering this to the
“I’m delivering this to the first Mrs.Claus.”
“Kids,it’s what your attorney
“Kids,it’s what your attorney will call an attractive nuisance.”
“Sorry kids my lap has been
“Sorry kids my lap has been quarantined.”
“No kids Covid is not a new
“No, kids, Covid is not a new reindeer name.”
“Sure, I can get you a
“Sure, I can get you a football, but let me show you how to spike one first.”
“No kids, Covid is not a new
“No kids, Covid is not a new reindeer name.”
“We’ve become attached to
“We’ve become attached to each other.”
I know you endorsed Donald
I know you endorsed Donald Trump but he can only stay in the White House for a few weeks after Christmas.