Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 168

Contest No. 168 starts right now (it’s another special pandemic contest).

Briefly, here are the details: Usually, I supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. For this contest, I’m supplying a new drawing. You are invited to submit your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment” on the bottom of this posting. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot — please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of the contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 15, 2020. Shortly after that, the winner will be announced and the winning caption will be posted. I will be the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted. Again, for this special contest only, I am not supplying an old, unpublished cartoon of mine, so I do not have any original caption to reveal.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

Wow, this coronavirus is really getting around. A few months ago it was on an almost deserted island, and just before that it was seen on a psychiatrist’s couch. Well, it’s the holiday season, so what better place for it to pop up than on Santa’s lap? What does jolly old St. Nick have to say to his little guest? Well, that’s up to you, captioneers . . .  good luck! And if you do happen to have little babes planning to visit Santa (not at all recommended this year), make sure they’re masked and well protected, because we all have to stay healthy!


  1. “Well, I guess I can dispense
    “Well, I guess I can dispense with the question, ‘Have you been good or bad?'”

  2. “If you keep up what your
    “If you keep up what your doing, then on the night before Christmas not a creature will be stirring.”

  3. “You don’t need me, you need
    “You don’t need me, you need the confessional booth across the street.”

  4. “You’ve already got my health
    “You’ve already got my health, my job, my friends and family . . . WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?”

  5. “Sorry… Santa cannot grant
    “Sorry . . . Santa cannot grant your wish . . . Joe Biden will
    remain President, even if it inhibits your freedom!”

  6. “Thanks anyway… I’ll stick
    “Thanks anyway . . . I’ll stick with Rudolph’s ‘red’,
    germ-free nose, to guide my sleigh!”

  7. ” I would like to offer you a
    “I would like to offer you a vaccine shot and then we can get rid of this sucker.”

  8. “Ho,Ho,Ho! Young man, There’s
    “Ho, Ho, Ho! Young man, there’s not enough coal in West Virginia for your stockings.”

  9. “Given how popular you are,
    “Given how popular you are, OK, you can replace the star on the Christmas tree.”

  10. I don’t care what Trump says,
    I don’t care what Trump says, you will NOT get immunity from the vaccine!

  11. “Kids,this year everyone is
    “Kids, this year everyone is getting the same present. Goodbye Trump, hello Biden.”

  12. It’s not that I don’t have a
    It’s not that I don’t have a gift for you. I’m just starting to feel a little sick.

  13. Your gifts are staying home,
    Your gifts are staying home, washing their hands, wearing masks, and socially distancing.

  14. Santa you need an eartest,we
    Santa you need an eartest, we asked for the Corrs Video . . . they`re an Irish singing group.

  15. “Kids,I’m taking this back to
    “Kids, I’m taking this back to the North Pole, where we’ve already had the shots.”

  16. “So… my elf at the door
    “So . . . my elf at the door didn’t try to stop you . . .
    he just remarked – ‘kids are looking stranger every

  17. Santa, I would love to sit
    Santa, I would love to sit and talk to you, but I have to
    give my “presence” to everyone before Christmas day.

  18. I know you endorsed Donald
    I know you endorsed Donald Trump but he can only stay in the White House for a few weeks after Christmas.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).