Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 166

Contest No. 166 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, October 20, 2020.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. “…and when she said get
    “…and when she said get that bum out of my courtroom, I thought your strategy was brilliant!”

  2. “I’m not a charlatan or fraud
    “I’m not a charlatan or fraud. My ad stated . . . Diving lessons
    by experienced Diver, and I am a ‘diver’… A ‘Dumpster Diver’!”

  3. “Can you tell the judge that
    “Can you tell the judge that I prefer to be called ‘the subject of our inquiry’ rather than defendant? “

  4. “I could make a good argument
    “I could make a good argument that I’m not the one who is the bum here.”

  5. “I don’t expect you to
    “I don’t expect you to represent me ‘Pro Bono!’.
    Don’t you recognize me . . . I’m Hobie . . . from
    ‘Hobie and the Hobos’?”

  6. “Pierre and Margaret’s, son?.
    “Pierre and Margaret’s son? . . . I used to be Prime
    Minister of Canada!”

  7. ” i thought it was a good
    “I thought it was a good sign when the jury said they didn’t need to put in a lunch order.”

  8. “If you would represent me
    “If you would represent me, you can have the book and movie proceeds.”

  9. “Wife #2, you say… alimony?
    “Wife #2, you say . . . alimony? Well, I don’t have much . . .
    but she’s welcome to half of my cardboard box, and half
    of my ‘sardine can’ collection.”

  10. “Excuse me, Mr. attorney…
    “Excuse me, Mr. attorney… Me, and Bertha the bag lady
    are getting hitched. Would you consider doing a pre-nup
    pro bono?”

  11. “Now I’ll give you my closing
    “Now I’ll give you my closing statement…I haven’t got a penny to pay you!”

  12. “I was hoping you’d lose the
    “I was hoping you’d lose the case…I haven’t had three square meals a day in years.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).