Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 154

Contest No. 154 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 10, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. “Congratulations! You qualify
    “Congratulations! You qualify for three wishes; first a free cruise to the Bahamas, second you qualify for a lower rate on your credit card, and third how about cleaning your chimney?”

  2. I’m not ‘that’ genie. I’m the
    I’m not ‘that’ genie. I’m the Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair.

  3. Yes, you get three wishes.
    Yes, you get three wishes. But I am the Budget Genie, so each wish has to be under $1.95.

  4. I’ve been in there for three
    I’ve been in there for three thousand years. I hope one of your wishes is for me to see a decent chiropractor.

  5. “You should have asked for a
    “You should have asked for a BRAIN…since you DIDN’T
    ask for THREE more wishes!”

  6. “You do realize, Choosing a
    “You do realize, choosing a ‘GIRLFRIEND’ for your THIRD
    WISH… will Obliterate your first TWO WISHES…
    for ‘MONEY’ and ‘FREEDOM’?”

  7. “Okay kid, give me a minute..
    “Okay kid, give me a minute… the last time
    I was ‘OUT’… A ‘POT PARTY’ meant Selling Tupperware!”

  8. “No… ‘TWIN’ Super-Models
    “No… ‘TWIN’ Super-Models will only count as
    ‘ONE’ of your THREE wishes.

  9. “What can I tell you, kid…
    “What can I tell you, kid… ‘THE ANTIQUE ROADSHOW’
    was WRONG! Your lamp is PRICELESS – Not WORTHLESS!”

  10. “Of course I’m all powerful.
    “Of course I’m all powerful. Who do you think got Trump to become president?”

  11. “You get three wishes and
    “You get three wishes and that comes with a side order of broccoli or mash potatoes.”

  12. “Sorry pal, you only get
    “Sorry pal, you only get three wishes with Aladdin’s lamp…This is Alfonso’s.”

  13. No wonder you look surprised
    No wonder you look surprised you normally only see Pink Elephants after drinking whiskey.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).