Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 150

Contest No. 150 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, August 20, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. “Just think, son… One day,
    “Just think, son… One day, you”ll be getting all this… Of
    course, you”ll also, be getting your SIXTEEN younger brothers
    and sisters!”

  2. “How did ya lose the cow, boy
    “How did ya lose the cow, boy? It’s days like this, that
    I ALMOST REGRET marrying my First Cousin!”

  3. “I’m either going to read
    “I’m either going to read Kant’s ‘Metaphysical Foundations of Natural Science’, or just do nothing.”

  4. “Son, did you wash the manure
    “Son, did you wash the manure off your hands, when you
    carved this here Corn-Cob pipe… The kick nearly
    burnt my fingers clear off!”

  5. “Did I mention … We found
    “Did I mention … We found an Army of RED ANTS
    in the Fence Posts, Son?”

  6. “You ask me what I think,
    “You ask me what I think, Wilber, the grass is no greener on your side of the fence!”

  7. “I plum forgot about
    “I plum forgot about varnishing that post today… but, if I
    were you, I’d stand before it sets… Cause, Buhla the Bull
    is assuming the ‘CHARGE’ position!”

  8. “Clem, I think it’s my day
    “Clem, I think it’s my day chewin’ straw and yours smokin’ the pipe.”

  9. ” Homer … If you can
    ” Homer … If you can balance with no hands, and put your
    arms straight out … maybe you can scare off those CROWS
    that are after the Corn Field!”

  10. “Five years ago you said, ‘If
    “Five years ago you said, ‘If you build it they will come’. Well, “they” never came.”

  11. I never did really understand
    I never did really understand that expression, “wait until the cows come home”.

  12. “As much as I enjoy, spending
    “As much as I enjoy spending time with my favourite
    grandson… I’m afraid, I must cut my Visit short!
    All this ‘HAY-DUST’ is just too hard on the lungs!”

  13. “You’re a McCoy, boy… Git
    “You’re a McCoy, boy… Git to one side or the
    other… But, quit ‘Sitting on the Fence!'”

  14. This is the last time I’m
    This is the last time I’m going to tell you to stop using my fence rail to wipe the manure off of your boot!

  15. “You must be a Republican..
    “You must be a Republican…You’re always sitting on the fence about something.”

  16. “It’s a dandy fence, alright,
    “It’s a dandy fence, alright, Billy-Bob, but …
    is it necessary, for a FISH FARM?”

  17. “Sorry bout the mix-up,
    “Sorry bout the mix-up, Cletus… when you called
    me over to ‘Mend Fences’… I figured you wanted
    to end our spat!”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).